Went to Chapel and We got Marrrrriiiiieeedddd

This post is mainly for my Facebook population, but also for the rest of the world that reads my story. 

Yesterday (June 25 2013) I got married! 

Just let THAT sink in. 

I married my best friend and I couldn't possibly happier. (Well, if I didn't have to wait three days for the honeymoon I'd be somewhat happier.) We had a short and sweet ceremony at the church and then had the attendees back at our place for some food and.. video games. We mainly did this because we were living together already and we did want to right that wrong before God. We figured we're going to do it anyway, we might as well! 

Saying that, we are still having that big ceremony/par-tay in October! 

The ceremony yesterday was just what my pastor called the "I Do" portion. We said hopelessly romantic vows and sealed the deal. (too saucy a phrase?) It was short, but so sweet. I cried the entire time. I tried desperately to hold them back and the more I tried, the more they flowed. 
In that place with Israel and our close guests, I felt God with us and I felt his blessing. I am overjoyed at  starting this new chapter in my life. It was perfect. 
One of the happiest days of my life, and the best part is I get to do it twice! 

Super-Short Love Story

It's been a few days, so today seemed like a good day to blog. 


Weekends are supposed to be the time when you relax and enjoy yourself. Besides New Years', it's the most counted down date known to man. 
For me, I wouldn't describe this past weekend as relaxing or enjoyable, bittersweet, maybe. 
Friday "some stuff went down" ( you know when people say that Jerry Springer issh is about to happen!). 
I won't go into detail about said "stuff", just know it was a sticky situation among friends (money was involved, hence STICKY). 
It was one of those situations where you can 


A: go off the deep end and ruin relationships that have been the salt to your pepper 
or 
B: swallow your pride, be responsible, and learn from it

I chose B. 
I need the salt to my pepper, and I like to think of myself as a reasonable person... I also hate when people turn things into Jerry Springer Episodes. I may not be the most reasonable person on the planet, but I try to be mature. Which is more than I can say for the guests of Jerry Springer. 


After "the stuff" went down..  the genre of my weekend went from trashy reality t.v to a full out romantic drama full length feature presentation. 


SAY WHAT?


For the past two months I have been harboring a secret relationship. (Some of you may already know about it, but were sworn to secrecy) I was crucial that we kept it on the down low ( I'll explain why later). WE GOT CAUGHT! 




In Jan or Feb I met this guy, who just so happened to by my best friend's cousin. ( talk about keeping it in the family.) At first the thought of anything between us never crossed my mind. There's a lot that goes along with that. 
And thinking about it now, it may take two or five post ( from my point of view) to tell you the whole story. 
So for now I'll give you the super-short version.. 


Girl meets Boy. 
Friendship blossoms. 
Confessions of super fat eight grade crush. 
Due to religious differences, agonizing debate on weather to "give this a try". 
Decide to "give it a try"!! However, must keep it a secret! 
Awkward confessions of Love.
Comfortable confessions of Love. 
Confessions of "In Love". 
Torrid Love affair caught by hottie boyfriend's family. 
Girl feels like she is going to be sick. 
Boy, calmly, takes care of it. 
Change of FB relationship status!! 


You think that's a lot? Wait for the full length feature post.
 If you go to my FB, you will see who he is. 
I can't describe how wonderful he is. Honestly, if you saw how sappy I might get, you might think I've lost my mind. Hell sometimes when I analyze this whole thing, I feel like I've lost my mind. 


But that's ok..  

Cheese Danish

First off, let me say that the strawberry cheese danishes in the vending machine at Sandhills Community College are delicious! 
You might be wondering why I'm at school, eating delicious danishes at 9 a.m on my "summer break". 
I had to take Rachel to school this morning... and her having an 8 a.m class and me agreeing to bring her shows the true meaning of friendship.
I've gotten so used to sleeping in that when the light turned on a 6ish this morning, it literally brought tears to my eyes. On the way up here my eyes were getting heavy and I was falling asleep. 
Dying in a head on collision is not on my to- do list today! 


Not really much on my to - do list today. 
I've been thinking with all this free time I have I should start volunteering or exercising.. you know, something productive. Maybe I'll start tomorrow ;) 

naughty panties for Christmas

Christmas Greetings Bloogers, Readers, and Facebookers alike!

Today I had Christmas Eve at my dad's house. The stocking were hung by the chimney with care and stuffed with really good gifts. Got some good gift cards, socks that call me naughty, candy, and a pocket mirror. Oh and germ X. Also I received a tee Shirt that says "put your big girl panties on, Get over it."
That tee shirt got dad a lot of cool points in the present contest this year, I have to admit. it's amazing. got a pair of panties on it and everything! However, the race is not over. Mom still gets to play tomorrow. and since I know (by pure accident!!) what I'm getting, I'm pretty sure she will take the cake.But we will not declare an official winner until tomorrow.

With all the gifts and fuss over The Big Day. I have really been giving some thought to Baby Jesus and those who won't be receiving tee shirts, and socks, or gift cards, or even a decent dinner. My heart goes out to them. As sad as I get, I have really been giving God some props. I'm so thankful for what I have. Sometimes my life seems like it really sucks, but when I think about it I have it so much better than a lot of people. So I encourage you, this Christmas to give some thought about what you have and to be grateful for it. Give the Big Guy some props, He more than deserves them!


Merry Christmas!
Don't Drink and Drive!
(I don't wanna attend a funeral over the holiday)

oh and P.S- My grandmaw is in the hospital.. I don't wanna go into detail, but while you are giving God props could you send up a prayer for her? THX :) 

shot to hell

let's just lay everything out on the table...

the past few days, weeks, months? i haven't been able to properly function. 

i have no clue what is going on. it's like i've done a 180. 

i'm standing on the edge of the cliff again. don't worry, i don't plan to jump. 

i just don't know how to get myself out of the slump.

maybe it's the change of the seasons.. this seems to happen to me a lot when the seasons change. 

my internal axis gets flipped upside down and my mentality is shot to hell. 

yesterday, i went to the graveyard and walked around and listened to the dead.(a little too poetic?) all the while unloading my shot to hell mentality onto my best friend. (that's what a best friend is, somebody who walks around the graveyard with you because your depressed. that's love my dear readers.) 

"all i need is a little of the good life" 

what is the good life?! 

is it:

• Religion
• Family
• Friends
• Money
• Career 
• Knowledge 
• Contentment 

this is a quick list i made of things i think i want in life(not specifically in that order).. but how can you have ALL of them in the right balance? that's my thought provoking question. 

on a side note, with the thought of having balance in my life i've been thinking about taking up yoga. yea, wii fit yoga, back off! anywho.. maybe some mediation would be good. just a thought. 

caution: doom and gloom

i refuse to cry anymore.. i stopped that a long time ago. 
i have had several meltdowns, as i call them, in front a very dear friend of mine and every time i apologize for crying. he said not to worry about, its good to cry. 
my well is all tapped out. 
where is all this coming from? 
where to start? 
divorce is never pretty for no one.. the drama is supposed to end with high school. they lied. 
the whole college thing, community or not, is starting to freak me out. bad. 
work.. is not what i expected it would turn out to be. 
not to mention the misc. turmoil i'm in... 


my life is a bit flipped right now. instead of handling it i'm just sitting back watching things fall and crash.. thats not helping. but its all i have energy for as of right now. 


"i have tasted the apathy, its bitter on my lips.."- D.D 


yes i know this is a bit of doom and gloom.. 
i need to snap out of it.
i'm trying. i think a good nights sleep and some red bull therapy tomorrow... and some prayer.. will help. 

BLT's and Tim

"this is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world.."
sometimes i crack myself up. when i open my blog i see the title and i start singing that song. its like an automatic reaction for my brain. 


oh really sir, you'd like lettuce and tomato on your BLT. how creative. 
thats how work has been for me the past few days. 
i actually had to work on saturday and it was overall good. the day went by fast and it was productive. 
plus last week i worked like 7 days straight and worked full shifts. my paycheck was pretty nice.. not to brag :) 


i am hanging out at some friends' house and i just got done shoving my face with some sort of mexican food ordeal. it was delicious. i am full. 


is any of this noteworthy?
like why would you want to read about me eating and being full?
i'm awesome. thats why. 
and someday when i'm famous and excerts from these blogs are in books and magazines you have bragging rights saying that you knew that first! 
i give you permission now. 


still no wireless internet at the home front. however, a friend of mine informed me that i could just take the ethernet cord and plug into Tim and BAM! Connected! 
i don't know why i didn't think of that earlier. 
i'll try that later and get back with you on the results :) 

cereal killer!!

when i sleep.. i hold my hands at a very awkward angle.. meaning that i bend my wrist in. and i keep waking up with pains in my wrist. call me crazy but i think the two may be closely related. 

i should probably stop sleeping like that. 

oo. i want some cereal. 

i believe we have fruit loops. that'll do!

delicious. 

any ways.. (ever noticed how much i say that phrase?) 

i think its safe to say that this is going nowhere.....

except me showering doing my hair and then going to work! 

but alas its Friday!! i have a date tonight ( i know you're thinking "omg! finally") sorry to bust your bubble but its just with friends. we are going to eat and i am going to hunt a trunk. 

what?

a trunk?
i want a trunk for all my keepsakes.

"i am a deranged bird" -S.C

uuugghgghghghghghghmdsdkfljkjkffnmsdmkl!!! 

i hate those moments. my night was great! 

i got off work, went to youth praise practice, went to church, and went out to eat with friends afterward. it was awesome. 

i come home to not awesomeness. 

ugh. blasphemy!

bloody hell! 

i cut my finger at work.. i seriously need to stop cutting myself. its starting to look suspicious. and we are so not going there again! 

.. speaking of.. well sorta not really on the same track,

i've been thinking about the tattoo i want. 

i want a quote on my wrist from a flyleaf song " arise and be all that you dream"

in the song they say dreamed but i want to use present tense because i feel like i haven't stopped dreaming.

i want this quote because it relates back to the whole " i wanted to be dead and didn't feel like dreams for the future were necessary or even achievable" era of my life. 

that time has come and gone but there are things from that that i have to live with everyday. i rejoice the fact that i am here and have big plans for my future! but looking at the physical scars i have sometimes makes me queasy. i want something more positive to look at. and plus tattoos are kinda awesome :)

i'm sleepy.. are you sleepy? 

no thats not rhetorical.. answer me women! .. err man.. whichever you are. 

* this post has nothing to do with deranged birds. 

Happy dance!

For the past like three weeks my best friend has been living it up in California. And finally he's coming home. So I did a happy dance.. and recorded myself. So that he and you could feast on the awesomeness of my dancing!! :)

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Beach noodles

My bones feel like noodles. Which is a relaxing feeling, a weightless feeling if you will.
Have I ever told you how much I love being at the beach, doing nothing but laying in the sun, shopping, eating, having all the time in the world. If I haven't.. I apologize. It's my favorite thing in the world to do. One week isn't enough. Graduating was great, such a liberating feeling. But now when I think about my life starting its exciting bit scary.. I want to pause time and stay on the beach forever. Most people can't take the sand.. its called a chair moron. Life here in cherry grove, in this house of 6 friends, is great. We have been doing all kinds of stuff. All of which I will go into later..
We are fixing to go stuff out faces at a seafood buffet ;)
( the photo is of our amazing little house)

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"you won't believe what i heard.."

Graduation is officially my favorite holiday season. not only are people very generous to you, but its a whole celebration of the end of high school hell! the open is road is right here at my feet. yes, its a bit scary but, overall its what i've wanted for as long as i can remember.  this whole week i've been so happy (its kinda scary) being with my friends and celebrating the end and beginning of things has been great.

not to mention all this free time i've had not having to go to school. i got a few major things accomplished : 

deep cleaned my room! 

deep deep clean my car!!

and cleaned the bathroom up! 

and spent a lot of time with my friends. i went swimming a few times, so i have a pretty good tan started. 

plus today i got a hair trim and my layers shaped up. thank God she did exactly what i asked her. she didn't take any length off and didn't jack the front of my head up. its beautiful. now i just have to go wash it and re straighten it. 

the big day is tomorrow.. i'm so excited! i keep saying i won't cry but i almost cried at my cousin graduation in 10th grade.. no chance i will escape tearless. oh well. i can say they will be tears of pride. i feel accomplished and proud to have made it.. because honestly there were times when i thought i wouldn't. ( math exam anybody?)

on top of all that.. there has been this underlying drama volcano brewing up in the mix of my friends.. none of it is directly related to me but, i have a gut feeling that shit is going to hit the fan. of course its all boy girl drama.. well girl drama too, but when is that never there? 

and can i just say this.. you know how when myspace was really popular or something like that and you had the info box.. in your info box you put all kinda B S in there to make yourself look awesome and almost everybody had "i hate drama" or something of that nature? remember that? figured you would. 

well thats a lie. we both know it. 

somebody comes to you and says " you won't believe what i heard.. " that's the opening line for a drama fest and you know! you will want to hear what that person is going to say. not saying i'm blameless.. i might as well fess up..there are plenty of times that i just feed on other people's drama. or my own for that matter. esp girls. we lie cause we don't wanna seem like petty bitches, but we all do. every last one.

bad cheese and parties!

ever get the feeling that one of your best friends is ... how do we say.. two faced.

i have that feeling now.. its kinda like i ate some bad cheese, plus a feeling of rage. hoes before bros dude! i mean where is the loyalty?? i have had this feeling before from her before but lately its been worse. i mean if you want to put a boy before me go ahead.. but all i'm asking is that you inform me first. as we all know i have boy issues anyway so, i always put my ladies first and i expect the same from you. apparently i expect too much. like i said i have had this feeling before from said friend and quiet frankly i'm getting tired of it. this is dampering my mood...

if you watched my super long bathroom video ( sorry for the stupid angels! ) you know that two of my friends had a grad party tonight.. and it was awesome! i danced hard, laughed hard, even sang hard.. there were a few songs where everybody was singing along, i swear we could've been the glee cast :)

the thing is tomorrow.. and i still have no idea what to say.. i think i have my opening but as far as the rest its still quiet scrambled.a bunch of my friends are going to be there.. i'm not sure how many people are going to be there but the number seems bigger than what i was picturing. i know my story.. i just don't know how to explain in in not complicated terms ( everything has to be complicated with me! )

ugghh. oh well. its late and i'm not even sure why i'm here and not working on this speech thingie.. oh yes i do.. i wanted to tell you have i was feeling sick because i think one of my friends is being two faced.. still not sure thats the right word.

anyway now that i have informed you i will go work on my thingie for the thing

Breakfast and Reality TV

I've been sleeping with my fan on so that I don't die from a heat stroke.. because I have to sleep with covers on, thus conditions for a heat stroke. This morning I woke with a chill and decided I wanted some warm breakfast. I'm not sure if I like that sentence.. any who I ate some oatmeal and it was awesome! It was maple syrup and brown sugar oatmeal. When I was little I used to not like that particular kind of oatmeal, I love the fruit kinds. Peach used to be my favorite.. which is still pretty great.

It's taking me forever to write my nonsense this morning because Khloe and Lamar is on and I have been sucked into the craziness of it all! I desperately wish my life was a reality show.. don't ask me why.. I think it goes along with that thing I said before about me thinking that if I don't document everything in my life I will someday face some sort of doom and regret. ( are you catching on that I stress and worry over the stupidest things?!)

Speaking of stress and worry.. I am going to graduate!! I passed my math exam with a freaking 81! I almost hugged my teacher (there was slight curve) but I refrained.. Cause that could have been.. really weird.

I'll be so glad to graduate. I am so jealous of all my friends who are leaving and embarking on greater things, but I'm very proud of them :) It will be really weird not seeing everybody everyday.. and you know there are some people that I won't ever see again. ( for some people that's a good thing!) But I'm still hanging around for a year so there won't be a clean break for a while.

non- deep post that got semi deep

i had some deep stuff to blog about.. I'm to tired to blog that deep. 

highlights : 

today pastor asked "what is the meaning of life?" see? deep! answer that.. and we will elaborate later.

senior day is tomorrow! 

i also had a rant about Austin Andrews ( grin like mule because i know when you read this you will grin. and then you will point it out to me and probably others that i mentioned you.) but i will hold off for now.. that's not deep just kinda long and too ranty for this late at night. however i will point out that i not only have authority issues, i have attachment issues. if we declare friendship.. i expect that to be.. permanent? i guess is the word. even joking.. esp when i can't tell if your joking.. about that friendship not meaning as much to you as it does to me makes me scared.. i feel like a loser for letting it get to my head. obviously this has happened to me before.

i got a fan for my room! sweet victory :) 

we did a new song at youth today and I'm pretty sure i lead that song.. and i think it went well. i was quite pleased. 

opening night is tomorrow! ahh I'm so excited and I'm trying to get scared and sike myself out. I've been praying and i think it will be fine. i love theater. I'm sad the class is almost over but, i feel like this experience had been good for me. its motivated me a lot more. still not sure exactly what i am doing in college ( baby steps Emily!) but this feels like a good direction. 

speaking of?! have i told you that i am throwing around the idea of being a youth pastor.. err something like that. i know that's not something you just decide for yourself, at least i don't think you should, but since the idea is in my head ( and that's not something i would choose for myself) i am pretty sure its a God thing. i still want to attend evangel.. so if i go there i could get a degree in theology (kinda scary) and minor in theater. that leads me to do ministry and theater.. ministry theater. *also if i do this.. well i should do this anyway.. i will get my potty mouth under control! 

this week in a rant

today this week has been one huge batch of long suffering. and to top if off i feel completely unaccomplished!

i have dress rehearsal on Sunday and I'm freaking out that my white dress may be see through! plus this whole week i have been screwing up my lines! I'm no where near being done with my psych class (its an online course), i still have fees i owe the freaking school, that piece i need for my car has not been bought, i need a freaking bra for my prom dress and! my room is a disaster!

and and! there is all this drama at school that has caused me to be dramatical because I'm not in it. let me try to explain: there is a girl ( as always) well two or three girls really who are having boy issues ( the kind of things you talk about with other girl friends!!) and they all talk about it with each other, excluding me! what gets me is the fact that they have these conversations together while I'm present. I mean really? you are going to bring up all this baby momma drama and talk about it IN FRONT OF MY FACE and not let me in. that's cool. because i already know anyways. I READ FACEBOOK! seriously though, its irritating! if you don't wanna talk to me about that, that's fine. chances are i don't wanna hear but, I'd like to be given the option of you talking my ear off.

if this continues over to Monday i may be scared for life. that on top of everything else has gotten me so revved up. my blood pressure is soaring!

OK. i think that's enough for now.. 

any who.. prom is this weekend. yay! ( with mild sarcasm) I'm excited but at the same time not totally thrilled.

ha! this is funny.. today i took a friend home from school and on the subject of prom the conversation went something like this: 

friend: what are you doing after prom?

me: hopefully getting plastered.

friend( with scared face): that's sad.

me(laughing and half lying): I'm joking! 

friend: no your not. that makes me sad.

 I am not going to push the issue on this, however, I will say.. don't come at me with the whole " you don't need drugs and alcohol to be cool" crap. first off I don't do drugs, second, duh! i know that, and third don't act like your so innocent. I know what you did last summer. muhaha! 

my mom is calling.. 

time to go get a bra! 

Bitch Fit

It has been brought to my attention that I am a bitch.
OK. Let's be honest.. I already knew that but, hearing from other people makes it so much real.
Two weeks ago I invited a friend to youth group.. she agreed to go and I was so happy! Well then I had to go to wal mart with to meet my mom and I also had two other friends in tow ( seems like I have a lot of friends, doesn't it?) Somehow in all the mix of wal mart and all these people I left her out and literally left her at wal mart. (she had her car so she wasn't stranded) I figured she would just meet me at the church.. no. She never came and I just brushed it off. I talked with her today about it and it really hurt her how I treated her.. I seriously didn't mean to do that to her. I know I have issues with balancing my attention esp if  I get around certain groups of people. Hearing this was like a punch in the throat... which I have experienced and it hurts.
I humbled myself and apologized.. somehow that didn't feel like it was enough. The last thing I want is for her to feel like I'm pushing her away, which I know I've done a lot. And even when people call me a bitch for doing that to her she sticks up for me. Which shows you how awesome she is and what an idiot I am for treating her like that.
Which brings the question "Emily, how do you feel about being called a bitch?"
Ha! well.. it really doesn't bother me.. until I treat my friends like shit. but any other time.. nah ;)



I'm stretching my ears :)
size 10 = soreness :(
on another random note I am obsessed with Katy Perry's song E.T!

Beach bum

Spring break is in full swing and I am loving every minute of it. Camped out on the beach all day Sat and I'm paying for it now with wicked sunburn. It's all good though once its gone I'll have a decent tan :) I have throughly enjoyed being here with family... which surprises me. Tomorrow I'm meeting up with friends and spending a few days with them. Believe it or not this is my first spring break that I actually went somewhere.. its been wonderful :)
P.s : however we missed church yesterday.. that was weird.
P.p.s: tons of new Yorkers down here.. epicness!

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30 Day Challenge : day 10

Day 10(a day later) - A picture of the person you do the most crazy things with






I can't just pick one person! This is Rachel and Meredith, my best friends! and my little sister. We took this picture like 4 years ago on a beach trip. All my crazy moments involve these three, if not all of them at the same time!

30 Day Challenge : day 2

Day 02 - A picture of you and the person you have been closest with the longest
(yes i know this is a day late! get off my back!)

This is my best friend Rachel. Next to family I have know her.. and liked her the longest. We have had our moments where things seemed to be at a breaking point. (i take the blame for a lot of those. )But we always manage to pull through. She knows things about me that I wouldn't trust with anybody but her. This is Rachel and I love her :)

Emily Greene and Rachel Wolfard.