College+Love=Mind Blown

I have no idea where to start. I have so many thoughts floating around in my head. 

But, as I've mentioned many times before, this IS MY BLOG and I can say whatever I'd like. 

And thank goodness it's not going to be graded! 

My English class is kicking my buttocks. 

My science/weather class has confused me beyond measure. 

My math class is actually going pretty well.. despite how much I hate math. 

My history class is.. well, it's going. 

There are sometimes ( like today when my work in my Eng class was ripped apart and basically scrutinized to poop.) when I feel like dropping out of school. 

But then a little silver lining appears (like when I make B's on my math work) that I feel like I can keep on trucking. 

Today I made a mantra of saying "I hate college." After a little while of that I realized that I don't really hate college, I hate general ed. Classes you have to take because the man says you have to take. When I can take a whole slew of classes I want to take, I think I might be happier.. and then again I could hate those as well. Hopefully we'll find out. You know, if I don't join the circus before then. 

Ok, so that's like 55% of the floating thoughts, the other 45% is my personal, romantic life. 

(which is going pretty good, thanks for asking:) 

Our relationship (me and my boyfriend, that is) is special. And I'm not just saying that because I'm blinded by love. I'm saying that because we have what is classified as a "inter-religious" relationship. 

It's complicated and then again, it's not. 

I'm a christian/Pentecostal and he's a Jehovah's Witness.  

At first it was weird.. and we weren't even sure it was a good idea.. and this is a long and complicated story.. sorta.. anyway, not really the point. 

The point:  Things have gotten really serious in the short amount of time we've know each other/been together. 

We've been playing "the what if and when" game. 

Over the past few days I've also had a lot of those "wow, never thought I'd be here" moments. And with the big, obvious reason it's really been mind blowing. 

there is a funny cat pic enclosed

Believe it or not there are times when I look in the mirror and I actually like the person staring back. 

There are times when its the end of the day and I'm reflecting, I actually smile and find a lot of things to be thankful for. 

This morning we woke and drove down to the beach to pick up the bridal party dresses for my sister's wedding. Thank God, the dresses fit everybody, however, some of the girls have to have them taken in. Which sounds good, but we have to have them taken in in the chest and depending on how you look at that... it could be seen as a bad thing. I can fit three times the amount of my actual chest in the dress as it stands now, so for me, it's a bit depressing. 

Any who...

At the beach, I can breathe in the salty ocean air and feel the anxiety that harbors in my chest start to fade away. If the circus doesn't work out, the beach is my next destination of choice. 

When I say the beach, unless I specify, I mean Myrtle Beach. And usually the water is dark and brown, but this trip the water was clear and that peaceful blue-green. 

And I just got distracted by something on tv and lost my whole train of thought on where I was going with this... 

The sun, the sand.. it was great. and this makes no since..

WAFFLES! 

i'm not doing my homework

To the eight people out there that read this.. thank you. i feel like i don't say that enough. 


and when i'm not doing my homework (accepting the fact that i'm going to take a bad grade) by goofing off, reading blogs about cats and fashion... you are feeding that fire. thank you. 
now you feel bad because i'm going to get a bad grade... or maybe you feel disappointed in me because of my lack of motivation. 
don't. 
it's my own fault. and i have good reason...


this is my homework...


there is a painting of some dude painting ( yes a painting of somebody painting!) the virgin mary nursing baby Jesus... why?!!? why does this exist?!!!
In general, how would you use these images as evidence of the worldview of the fifteenth century? What do they tell us about people's attitudes, emotions, and values? 
What?! 
well apparently the worldview of the 15th century is warped! i don't know. and i kinda don't care. the thought of babies being nursed makes me queasy... then put Jesus in that equation and now I'm just beyond uncomfortable. Plus I didn't even read the chapter, so I have no idea what's going on in 15th century art. And what the heck is a motif? 

Saint Luke drawing the portrait of the Virgin

i'm dropping out of college and joining the circus. i'm serious. 

mid-term, missouri, and John Cooper

so i think i have found the easy, lazy american way to get out of this midterm.. drop the class! 
drop the class and take it over the summer. i was thinking of taking a class or two over the summer anyways because i have to have like 24 credits to be counted as a transfer student at Evangel. 
then on that same thought, i have been chewing over the idea of maybe trying to go to Evangel this spring semester.. maybe. i don't know. i'm just shooting around the dark here.. 
i'm so lost. 
ughh..
i'm always lost. 
i need a freaking road map for life. 
i said that as a Facebook status on time and one of my (smart aleck) friends replied "its called the bible" 
yes, i know that. but the bible doesn't spell out in black and white what God wants you to do for a college major.. that would be far to easy.
 yes. yes you do detect a bit of bitterness in that last bit. 
before i even graduated i wanted to run away and join the circus and forget college. thats starting to sound like a really good idea again. i could see myself selling popcorn to little brats and posing as the fattest women alive.
(and if you think about leaving a comment saying, emily your not fat! i will say something snide in reply back. nobody likes a suck up.. well.. ok sometimes its ok to be a suck up. but i know i'm not the fattest women alive... its ok for fat ppl to pick on themselves. now skinny ppl.. thats a whole different ball game.. ) 
any who... enough crazy talk. 
wait.. 
who's blog is this?
no crazy talk.. thats crazy talk! 


the skillet concert is, of course, friday!! and me and my friend Lizard made teeshirts today :) the other day John Cooper said something on his twitter about if your sick come to the fall tour because he was a dr. of rock... so our shirts say: 
(on the front) an apple a day keeps the doctor away.. (on the back) forget the apple, i came to see DR. ROCK 
be. jealous. 


so obviously, i'm in (some not creepy form of)  love with John Cooper.. 
who is your celeb crush?