first post of 2013

The past month/ new year has flooded my brain with so much confusion that sometimes I just feel numb. To be perfectly honest with you. 

Yesterday, I got to thinking (naturally..) what if I'm just bored with my life? I felt this terrible sense of dread, yet at the same time knew I wasn't scared of anything. I just feel so weighed down by the mundane that has become my life. So many changes have taken place, and everything is starting to settle and my inner self is screaming at the top of her lungs WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU SURE WE ARE READY FOR THIS??! 

And everyday I hang my head a little lower and say I have no clue. 

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things that are going great! 

However, we, as mere mortals, all know that the bad almost always outshines the good. 

I never pictured I'd be where I am today. 

(Story of my life)

But then again, isn't that one of life's greatest mysteries? 

Amongst my inner turmoil, life is in full swing. My second semester at Pembroke is going nicely so far. The only complaints I have so far are brief: 

1. I signed up for an extra online class.. so far = big mistake. 

2. My economics class about brings me to tears everyday because it's so boring. 

3. I got a ticket today because I have yet to get a parking pass. (But I assure you, this problem will be rectified asap.) 

I'm going to College

You heard about Colorado? 
Of course you did. 


Tragic. 
It really should be unbelievable that human beings can be so violent, but it isn't. Ever since the fall of man ( if you believe in that sorta thing), humans have been warped. Most of us notice it on a daily basis, sadly society only acknowledges it when psycho- killers attack innocent movie goers. 


Needless to say I will be thinking and praying for said innocent movie goers. Also probably needless to say, what little desire I had to go see that movie is now gone. 






Not to be unsentimental, but by now you're tired of hearing about the sad event and it's time to enlighten you with what's the what what in my life! 

 (the best part of your day, don't deny it) 

I'M GOING TO COLLEGE!!! 
As in like I'm actually moving there. 
No, I'm not trucking half-way across the country to outlive a reckless desire for adventure. I'm trucking an hour away (if you drive the speed limit) to live out the more realistic dream of leaving home for a good education, yet still being close to home. 
I'll be attending University of North Carolina at Pembroke. Instead of staying a dorm, I'll be living in the apartments across the streets. My own room and BATHROOM! And sharing a living room and kitchen with three others. 
I'm super excited!! 
Everything is basically taken care of, just a few more things to sign, seal, and deliver. I.e: signing up for classes and getting shots! Not to enthused about that last part. 




So many things are coming up in the next couple of weeks, I wanna take it all in and not miss a beat. I'm exciting to turn this new leaf over in my life. (needless to say) I feel determined to make the most out of this year. Starting out on the right foot sorta thing. 

Where Am I?

Holy Crap, it's been a year since I graduated High School! 

(well technically there's like 4 more days to be considered a full year.. but who's counting?) 

I still have a bunch of high school friends on my FB, so I see a lot of the major news. Esp the buzz about Graduation. 

That was a good day. 

Actually, probably the best thing about high school was leaving it. The whole Graduation season is worthy of celebration, it's like Christmas for smart people.. and dumb people, as long as they passed everything! 

It makes me think... It's been a year and where am I? 

I sometimes hate asking myself this question. But sometimes I find positive things and it makes it worthwhile. 

I'm not on the fast track to Missouri, like I'd thought I'd be. Come to think of it I'm not on the fast track to anywhere. And for right now I'm making myself be ok with that. Until I figure out where I am going, it's ok to go slow.

In the past year I have learned some valuable life lessons:

Slacking gets you no where! 

Skipping class in bad! ..well skipping a lot of classes is bad... sometimes it's ok... 

Starting off on the wrong foot is bad! 

Being honest with yourself and others is good! 

Being logical and realistic is good! 

Taking risks is scary and good and an opportunity to lean! ( and get a cute boyfriend :)