Wednesday, June 10, 2009

only time wil tell

school is done, another year of knowledge tucked under my belt.
i feel different somehow.
i was exposed to new things, i tried new things, i learned new things, i have become something new.
new i like that term.
new, different, refreshed.
taking my life to new heights.
the road is winding so fast now, flashing before my eyes, will i have the time and strength to accomplish everything i aspire?
only time will tell

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

they say my eyes are pretty and i have wonderful hair and that i am beautiful on the inside.

that's not true, my eyes are way to tiny, when i laugh to hard i cant see. my hair is stupid, when its curly its big when its straight its frizzy. and if they only knew what was on the inside.. beauty is the furthest thing from it.

emptiness has overtaken me, depression is swelling up inside me. i long for some release, but none can be found. sleep,my long time friend, no loner helps. for now i am once again haunted by daily nightmares.

the music is not strong enough to beat out the ugly. worldly substances are to far out of reach. my old methods are tucked away deep within me with promises to stay there forever. ... will they once again reappear?

only time can tell.

tick, tick, tick, goes the clock on the wall. the ever-present alarm letting me know that time is slipping through my fingers.

slipping, falling, running, jumping into that air with no knowing of where i will fall. will i ever fall? if i fall will it be back in good graces or back in the hands of an evil stranger?