Wednesday, August 31, 2011

noisy food in the library



the reading room
i really want to eat my crackers.. but i'm in the reading room at the library .. not only is it dead silent in here ( of course its just me) but its the library, and crackers are like the noisiest food in the world! i really should pick a more quite snack...
ok well this chick just literally came in popping gum.. i should start rustling my crackers out of spite.
but i'm not because Jesus wouldn't do that.. actually Jesus would probably be outside, sitting on the grass teaching and eating quite foods like bread. that sounds amazing, doesn't it? ( please note there is no sarcasm in that) in the very least the bread part sounds amazing right now. if you haven't picked up.. i'm hungry. i had the middles of pop tarts this morning and thats it.
did she just say the middles? 
yes, i did..they weren't cooked so i didn't eat the edges because that's just nasty. and since i was driving to school eating i just casually dropped them out the window. like a Hanzel and Gretel trail for me to find my home with. ( if you recall my first day of school, that might actually be helpful in the traffic circle! haha. i'm pretty sure i've mastered it now :)

i seriously need to be studying.. but of course i'm not.
i have my world religions quiz this morning, it was so easy. i made a hundred :)
i have had a lot mess on my mind lately which has led me to make a few dumb decisions. i've been beating myself up over it. but time ( and God) heals all wounds. that sounds drastic, doesn't it?
haha. sorry its nothing bad.. like i didn't go out and sleep with a man whore and then do a couple of lines with him on his passed out girlfriends compact.
anyways.. even if i did do that you wouldn't want to know about it, would you?
yes you would ;)
trust me.. if i ever sleep with a man whore and do crack you'll be the first to know.

delayed work of genius

so, i wrote this on monday.. the internet connection was being gay. its nothing of genius, however, if you feel so led read on :)

i have a slight headache in the top lefthand corner of my brain. i hate these types of headaches.. so annoying.
any who..
friday i took my first western civ quiz. i bombed it with a c-, but thats ok. in my communications class we got our quiz grades back from last week.. i made an a :) 
wednesday i have my first quiz in world religions and on friday my first exam in communications ( yes, i know i should be studying. i will, eventually!)

tonight i went to this prayer group at my church. its a group of about 7-8 ladies and the talk ( obviously) and pray. ( duh, its a prayer group) i never thought about attending until last week when i was chatting with God on my way to school and it just kept coming up in me. i picked up on it that God wanted me to go, so i went and it was pretty cool. lately i feel like my walk is becoming a little stronger. the hunger is growing a little deeper. i keep giving thought to my future and i sometimes it just gets to be to much to think about. i know my heart is now fully set on going to missouri after this year is complete. the rest is in God's hands. i want to make a difference and to be made useful. i know the only way to achieve that is with is help. 
i keep mulling over the idea of a youth pastor.. or just working with youth. i of course i have my doubts, and i feel like when i tell people that they don't take me serious. ( i can see why, i suppose) negative feedback doesn't help.. esp coming from friends. today i was challenged : "can i ask why?" 
yes you can! 
my response was basically: i want to help girls, or anybody going through the crap i went through. i want to reach out and tell them that there is a better way. of course my testimony is on here and i stand by it all the time. and who knows.. maybe God doesn't want me to be a youth pastor.. i think the first step is just trying to figure out what major i'm supposed to take! 

Saturday, August 27, 2011

my love life and webcam photos

a huge boulder has been lifted from my shoulders.. Tim finally has proper software!! *throws confetti and pops some bubbly* 
it cost me literally a whole paycheck, but thats ok. it was worth it! i'm a bit more prepared for college.. and thats what counts right? 


to restate the obvious.. yes i know this hasn't been very well kept up.
but i have good reasons! 
-school
-work
-working on my love life..           
and by that i mean there is this really cute guy in one of my classes and i got two nods from him the other day. two nods! woot woot. progress. baby steps. 
and my two year crush is going well too. there is progress :) however, it seems like whenever we get alone. we aren't alone. awkwardness just circles around us like cancer. i hate the awkwardness. it's like that part in Ricky Bobby.. "i don't know what to do with my hands" baby steps. but i'm not getting any younger here.. i'm tired of taking baby steps.. geez dude just ask me on a date. i don't wanna freaking marry you. any who.. 


me and my little sister have been entertaining ourselves the past couple of days with the webcam and its effects.. 


this is my.. i'm going to eat your children face 


i should not have smoked that.. 

trim spa before...




after.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

kkjlkdjfalksjflksjsdasn!

today has throughly sucked.
like a freaking vacuum. 
Tim has really pissed me. i know its not his fault he didn't come with the proper software i'd need for school. and its my fault for not getting it sooner. procrastinating. like always. and where does it get me.. 
in the library skipping my favorite class because i had to print out my assignment for English. 
i made a pact with myself that i wouldn't miss any classes this year unless i was deathly ill and could no way possibly drive myself here. i drove here with every intention of going to my first class. 
but no. i had to be unprepared.
not to mention that i've ordered the software... $90 ffin dollars. BTW. and its apparently a download. but before you receive the download you have to send them proper verification that you are in fact a for real student. i'm pretty sure i did that right.. but you know. this is me we are talking about so i'm sure i screwed something up. 

aarrgghh!! i'm not even mad.. ok thats a lie. i am mad. i'm sad. i haven't been this down in a long time. what the devil is wrong with me???????????? huh?! 
i'll tell you what
no.. i want because i've been on the verge of tears for two days and my eye make up looks decent today and i'm not screwing that up!

Friday, August 19, 2011

i went shopping with fleetwood mac

my day was really good. i left school and it kinda turned into one of those "i need a drink" days. 

the song "second hand news" by fleetwood mac is by far amazing :) i don't know 100% what they are talking about.. but i know it makes feel good inside and thats good enough for me. 

"won't you lay me down in the tall grass and let me do my stuff" :)

i bought a sweater for 10 dollars. 
and another cardigan.. and some pretty bracelets. and everything was under 10. plus 30% off. oh yea i did good :) 

Thursday, August 18, 2011

perfection is my enemy

of course i'm not in the right aca class that would make my life all to perfect. 
f. 
there is a special transfer class you have to take if you plan on transferring.. i thought i was in that class. nope. i'm in the other required aca. and what does accredited mean?? i hope credits at sandhills are accredited because they have to be to transfer to evangel. i wish i could have just gone this year... but no. that also would have made my life all to perfect. 
yes i realize that i'm a bit of a negative nelly this morning. i'm sleepy and i can't sleep. i tried get on the ball with this online class and i find out i'm not even in the right court! plus i'm supposed to be reading chapter 12 for english.. i left my book at school. 
perfection is my enemy


but despite all that.. the first two days of school actually went really good. yesterday i had a blast in my communications class. my world religion and history classes were pretty good. ironically my english class was the one that won an eyeroll. he talked the whole time.. and his voice sounds like a preacher.. it was putting me to sleep. but i couldn't fall asleep because i'm "one of those people" ,as my sister says, who sits at the front.  and he's one of those teachers who makes eye contact and its almost disturbing. 
today however, i have no school. i get to go to work. yay! (please hint the heavy sarcasm) its not that its that bad.. honestly, i'd rather be at school. 
yea i say that now.. give me a few weeks i may not be that enthused. 
hopefully not though. 

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

passing out in the traffic circle

"pot should be legalized!" 
yep she went there. my professor that is. i thought i was going to choke.. but she went on the explained how it would put more money into the system if you tax it and stuff. if you think about it, she made a really good point. 


so that gives you a brief insight to my first day as a college student. it was almost surreal. walking around and going to classes i felt like i didn't belong at first.. eventually i got into the groove of it and it was amazing. finally its here. the next step. i have grown up a bit. i felt really good. i was grinning like a mule practically the whole day. 
i've know this for a while now but i worry about the dumbest things. i was literally surprised at how smooth my day went yesterday... that was until i LEFT SCHOOL AND GOT LOST ON THE WAY HOME!  how does that happen? you're probably asking yourself. well first let me point out that school is in the next county over and i'm not familiar with the whole area.. plus the devil lives there... the traffic circle. getting to school is no problem, its leaving thats difficult. i always take the wrong exit. you'd think i'd learn by now.. but i haven't. 


i haven't been keeping up with this as faithfully as i've wanted to.. i know the few people who read this are heartbroken. i love you guys, don't stop reading! this is just a dry spell with all the transitions going on. transitions being: coming home from the mission trip, going back to work, and starting school and within 3 days. i think it all caught up with me yesterday, i kept getting dizzy and feeling like i was going to faint. that was trippy. i've never fainted and from the looks of it i don't want to. i thought about that yesterday.. what would happen if  i was walking around campus and all of a sudden i just fell out on the sidewalk.. somebody better help me up! i couldn't help but laugh at myself. 

Tripping-up-the-stairs.bmp
epic fail

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Jeremiah and Jesus

where to begin?
the spit story?
did you see the tiny toilet?? how amazing is that?! 
pretty amazing my friend, pretty amazing. 


the mission trip was defiantly a success. mission completed. 
i think a lot of our work was greatly done behind the scenes. God worked in each of us, i know i can speak for myself especially and say that that in itself was worth it. not a lot of kids showed up for the vbs... and by not a lot i mean 6 did. yep only 6. but we didn't let that bring us down. we gave out best and it was awesome. the lucky ones who did show up really enjoyed themselves. who knew balloons could bring so much joy to a tiny tot? well after using them in two vbs's this year, i now know that. i could go on and on but i'm not sure how much of my Jesus talk you'd stick around and here.(however, i hope it would be a lot) i'm sure i'll share random stories in the near future as i'm reminiscing.  the bible verse that was our motivation and theme was Jeremiah 29:11. if you aren't familiar with that it reads:
"for i know the plans i have for you" declares the Lord, " plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." 
clearly that is something a college freshman should be leaning on. and i assure you i am. 
speaking of college i start on monday! woot woot. 
who's excited?
well.. i'm.. i'm not sure what adjective to use. i'm def ready to see what all the buzz is about. i'm skeptical about a bunch of stuff. it feels way different than high school ( yes, i know thats the point) and gives me the feeling you have in that dream where your in a crowed hallway naked. thats how i feel. naked. it hasn't hit me completely yet. 
but i'm sure it will smack me in the face on monday. 
wish me luck!.. err pray for me, which ever you feel so lead to do :) 


Friday, August 12, 2011

"look at the tiny toilet.."

This is.. bad video of the awesome bathrooms at the assembly of God in Wilmington.
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Good morning Baltimore

I'm not in Baltimore, I'm in oak island... just for the record. Starting out day two up before the nine am wake up call and before my roommates. So far its been awesome! Yesterday we went to the aquarium,went to the beach/pier, I got spit, and went door to door handing out the vbs flyers. That turned out really well. Praise God. By now you are probably wondering why I got spit on.. no it wasn't from somebody rejecting the lord. It was from one of the guys on the trip.. I'll explain later. For now Godspeed!
Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

Saturday, August 6, 2011

farting in wal mart.

i was going to take a video of me and rachel in wal mart.. that didn't really work out. my phone died. 
oh well. 
we basically just farted around in there.. literally. she farted. i farted. it was amazing. you better take note of this forever.. i hate admitting that i fart. i know.. gross. 
why am i talking about this?
don't ask..
its late.. 
too much caffeine lately..
mt. dew is the devil.. its sweet deliciousness will soon corrupt me!  


i have to work in the morning.. i really shouldn't complain.. its only a 6 hour shift.. technically 5 if you don't count the last hour which you use to clean up. and now that i am getting good at time management i actually get out of there on time when i close.  


ok.. blog post check! 
i'm going to bed :) 

Friday, August 5, 2011

emotional uproar of prayers

i just killed my dad. 
sike! 
i'm trying my hand at writing out this idea in my head again and i decided the dad should be dead, you know tie in some emotional uproar. 
and no, that doesn't mean i subconsciously want my dad dead. cause i know you were so thinking that. 


this writing thing is actually pretty fun. (duh) when you can come up with words you like. and nothing is permanent. i knew that but, i'm learning it now. 


facebook is going to rot my brain and cause me to be one of the dumbest people in the world. 
i start school in two weeks, that can't happen! 
speaking of school, i'm excited and anticipating what it holds for me this year. its going to be way different.  


i'm sleepy. 
go to bed.
i will eventually. 


i got the week off officially for the mission trip! oh how i am rejoicing. i'm so happy :) 
i work tomorrow, and sunday then bam! no work til the next sunday. the only sucky part about that is i virtually loose a week of pay, but its going to be worth it:
"never underestimate my Jesus"  
at training for said trip we have been doing a lot of praying.. which has been amazing. it motivates me to want to prayer more on my own like that. instead of just quick prayers here and there. 

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

caution: doom and gloom

i refuse to cry anymore.. i stopped that a long time ago. 
i have had several meltdowns, as i call them, in front a very dear friend of mine and every time i apologize for crying. he said not to worry about, its good to cry. 
my well is all tapped out. 
where is all this coming from? 
where to start? 
divorce is never pretty for no one.. the drama is supposed to end with high school. they lied. 
the whole college thing, community or not, is starting to freak me out. bad. 
work.. is not what i expected it would turn out to be. 
not to mention the misc. turmoil i'm in... 


my life is a bit flipped right now. instead of handling it i'm just sitting back watching things fall and crash.. thats not helping. but its all i have energy for as of right now. 


"i have tasted the apathy, its bitter on my lips.."- D.D 


yes i know this is a bit of doom and gloom.. 
i need to snap out of it.
i'm trying. i think a good nights sleep and some red bull therapy tomorrow... and some prayer.. will help. 

Monday, August 1, 2011

tim and reliant k in my bed.. say what?!

so me and Tim are just chilling here in bed listening to Reliant K. they are a pretty cool band. if you haven't ever listened to them i encourage you to check them out. (mood rings is my favorite song! however thats not the one i was listening to.) 

the beach was awesome.. shady hotel and all. speaking of said hotel... let me tell you about my bra. 
ok, so technically i bought three including hers..










i have this black one thats my favorite right now ( too much?) anywho i was wearing that and took it off sat night and threw it on the table with the rest of my stuff... on sunday i woke up and showered and just put on my bathing suite. later that day changing back to regular clothes i went to get my favorite black bra.. omg!  i freaking left if at the shady hotel!! went running threw my mind then out of my mouth. i was seriously up tight. yes, i had a spare. i called my mom and told her and she was like oh i got it. 
whew. thank God for moms, right? 
so needless to say the day at the beach was an adventure. i swan like a mermaid, got good sun, did some shopping, and drove a lot. it was awesome. 
shopping is fun.. but it can get you in trouble fast if you have no filtration. i have some but i almost lost it. i went nuts buying sunglasses. i only got two pair, but thats a lot to buy in just one day. 


.. i just had like a super good paragraph wrote.. and Tim keeps getting bumped off the internet.. ughh!! 
maybe this is karma.. humm.. 
i have lost the urge to ramble so i'm not retyping. i may or may not revisit that thought tomorrow. well i just looked at the clock it technically is tomorrow. 


go listen to reliant k and then go to bed.. thats an order!