College+Love=Mind Blown

I have no idea where to start. I have so many thoughts floating around in my head. 

But, as I've mentioned many times before, this IS MY BLOG and I can say whatever I'd like. 

And thank goodness it's not going to be graded! 

My English class is kicking my buttocks. 

My science/weather class has confused me beyond measure. 

My math class is actually going pretty well.. despite how much I hate math. 

My history class is.. well, it's going. 

There are sometimes ( like today when my work in my Eng class was ripped apart and basically scrutinized to poop.) when I feel like dropping out of school. 

But then a little silver lining appears (like when I make B's on my math work) that I feel like I can keep on trucking. 

Today I made a mantra of saying "I hate college." After a little while of that I realized that I don't really hate college, I hate general ed. Classes you have to take because the man says you have to take. When I can take a whole slew of classes I want to take, I think I might be happier.. and then again I could hate those as well. Hopefully we'll find out. You know, if I don't join the circus before then. 

Ok, so that's like 55% of the floating thoughts, the other 45% is my personal, romantic life. 

(which is going pretty good, thanks for asking:) 

Our relationship (me and my boyfriend, that is) is special. And I'm not just saying that because I'm blinded by love. I'm saying that because we have what is classified as a "inter-religious" relationship. 

It's complicated and then again, it's not. 

I'm a christian/Pentecostal and he's a Jehovah's Witness.  

At first it was weird.. and we weren't even sure it was a good idea.. and this is a long and complicated story.. sorta.. anyway, not really the point. 

The point:  Things have gotten really serious in the short amount of time we've know each other/been together. 

We've been playing "the what if and when" game. 

Over the past few days I've also had a lot of those "wow, never thought I'd be here" moments. And with the big, obvious reason it's really been mind blowing. 

Money can buy Happiness

Hey,  What's up. 

Sorry I haven't been attentive. And I'll have you know that I've had so much on my mind lately, that if I would've put my mind to it I could have pounded out some good stuff. 

Like today I had this thought... (this sprouting from the ongoing college what-nots)

IT'S NOT FREAKING FAIR THAT ALL THESE STUPID "CELEBS" ARE ROLLING IN THE DOUGH SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY PARTY ALL THE TIME (JERSEY SHORE RING A BELL???) AND THE REST OF US (NORMAL PEOPLE WHO ARE SCRAPING TO GET BY) ARE UP TO OUR EYEBALLS IN DEBT JUST TO GO TO COLLEGE AND GRADUATE AND MAYBE GET A DECENT JOB AFTERWARDS!!!!! 

SERIOUSLY?! 

I mean, come on!! Where is the JUSTICE America???

Land of the free?!  

Yea, Right. Until you get a job and 1/4 of your hard earned money will be sucked out of that no questions asked. Got a problem with it? Well too freaking bad! 

Sorry for the outburst, readers. But you have to see where I'm coming from.

Stressed out doesn't even begin to describe how I've felt lately. 

"Money doesn't buy happiness." 

I think I'd have to disagree a little.. 

from time to time... i sit and stare out the window and wait for something to happen. i daydream... i put together scenes that one day i might put in my book.. or not. sometimes when i stare out the window i have my ipod in.. ok most of the time i have my ipod in. i listen to the music and imagine myself in the crowd or up on stage.. do you ever do that? .. i think of people and what i want to say to them or what i want them to say to me.. have any of these daydreams came true?... no. but i can still hope and still hold them there. ... most of the time in my mind i am in control.. i can control my environment.. most of the time. .. sometimes not.. sometimes i just wish there were no more people.. cause where there are people there are problems. big problems. ..with problems come frustration.. some people shut down.. or freak out....sometimes when i am having a bad day and the right person says the wrong thing.. i snap! ... i have had several outburst this year.. but shh. .. if i was calm and put together... things would be all to calm and dull. .. that what makes us us.. or me me and you you. ..thank God i am not you and our are not me. ... that would be all to awkward. .sometimes when i think i think of where i will be in 10-12 years... in a loft in NYC.. ocean front on the coast of FL.. of possibly in the dazzling lights of Paris.. and sometimes i think of where the people around me will be.. rocking on stage... flipping burgers.. that i will purposely order complicatedly. . working at a doctors office with a very made up and oh so fake smile :) ... or in the slums with all the weed in the world! ... aim high rockingham! ...sometimes when i think.. i think of sleeping for forever... so i will start now.. but end in the morning.. until next time.. when my head is full of thoughts.