Best Breakup Poem Ever

Best Breakup song  poem ever : "Neutral Tones" by Thomas Hardy. 

We have a "best" song for everything - dance, love, party, and the favorite, breakup song. (And all I can think of is Taylor Swift, can you blame me?) 

In the midst of these melodic power cords, we have lost sight of the art of poetry. 
A poem.. oh yea.. I guess that's.. yea whatever. 

Probably what every teenager thinks when the word "poetry" is uttered. 
And I'll admit, sometimes poetry is a drag, esp early British Literature. 
BUT! 

We read this poem in class and it has just struck a cord in me. Even though I'm not going through a breakup, and never really have, I have had my heartbroken and I've read enough books to empathize. 

We stood by a pond that winter day,

And the sun was white, as though chidden (rebuked) of God,

And a few leaves lay on the starving sod;

         – They had fallen from an ash, and were gray.

Your eyes on me were as eyes that rove

Over tedious riddles of years ago;

And some words played between us to and fro

         On which lost the more by our love.

The smile on your mouth was the deadest thing

Alive enough to have strength to die;

And a grin of bitterness swept thereby

         Like an ominous bird a-wing….

Since then, keen lessons that love deceives,

And wrings with wrong, have shaped to me

Your face, and the God curst sun, and a tree,

         And a pond edged with grayish leaves.

It seems long, but read it, I promise it's amazing.

 The third stanza is my favorite. Just take a second to appreciate that. The smile on your mouth was the deadest thing/ alive enough to have strength to die. 

Not even concerning a breakup, this line, just describes every smile in every awkward moment, death, heartbreak, defeated moment in your life. It just blows me away ( am I nerding out too much here?)!!

The  poem, is in fact about a break-up, but not some drag out fight. The two people lost their way in love and just fell apart. I have had arguments with Israel where we both feel backed into a corner and defeated and sometimes you walk away with that dead smile. In our case it didn't break us, but come on! That last stanza keen lessons that love deceives, that is powerful my friend! 

Does Mother Nature have a period?

I just want to rip my hair out of my head, punch something, and scream at the top of my lungs. 

Ladies, can we please talk, for just a second, about how annoy it is that for the week or so before your period, and you feel like a raging lunatic?! Or is it just me? And then it finally hits you and you kinda mellow out, but your insides are being ripped and crushed my some invisible evil. 
Mother Nature sure is a *#$^!. 
But, we already knew all that, didn't we? 

Obviously I am enduring this week before, which has gotten worse for me since I've gotten older. ( I really need to see a doctor, huh? For mine and Israel's sake. ) 
I just feel like I wanna snap on anything or anybody who crosses my path. The other day this girl looked at me, literally all this poor girl did was LOOK at me, and I turned into the Hulk. Umm excuse me, please so not look at me like that. Would you like me to push you down the stairs?? Also, your haircut makes your head look big. 

 I hate being a woman. 

I am up this late because I am throwing a party for my friend tomorrow; she is 9 years cancer free!! Whoo-hoo! Totally something worth celebrating in my book. I am trying to get my house in order for the event, but I need to take a second and breath before I smashed all the dishes. 

I feel like I have been running around in endless circles (is that too repetitive?) for months now. My brain is fried. Today I skipped not one but two classes, and I feel no guilt. I actually had a couple of hours where I vegged, and when I caught myself I felt guilty for some unbeknownst reason. This semester cannot end sooner. Just one more week of classes, and then exams, and I am home free! Until January, where I have a 9 a..m  spanish. It literally never ends. 

This song just came on my Spotify; it's one of my favorites. I will leave you with this soulful piece, since I killed you with my hormonal outrage :p 

Life Update...

I haven't wrote anything on here in so long that I honestly thought about starting a new blog. I figured that since I was married now, that would be a good stopping and re-starting spot. BUT then I slapped myself ( not really) because I realized that would defeat the purpose of this blog: to document my journey, my life. 

Quick update, school is back in session: all of my teachers are trolls ( except the hottie with a body bowling coach. yes, I am taking bowling. yes i get a credit for it. ) Classes are good, so far I really only enjoy my literature class. 

Wedding planning dominates the other half of my life. The big day is coming up quick and I am so excited. I still have a full head of hair, so I'd say things are going pretty good. I am, however, just now starting to get aggravated that this shindig is only one day. As much time, effort and MONEY as we are putting into it, you'd think it was a week long, county wide celebration. 

OH, I got a job! Thats noteworthy. I am a cashier at a local cafe on main st. If it was anymore novel, my feet wouldn't be able to touch the ground. 

Thats the broad whatnots going on with me. How are you? How has your week been? 
You probably won't answer, but I do care. I hope you who read this are doing good. 

Random bunny trail, I have become quite entertained by these "vine" sensations. If you haven't seen any, you are missing out my friend. One of my top 5 favorites is: 

I have not the energy to bore you with my troubles as I thought I would post, instead I will leave you with 7 seconds of senseless funny. 

first post of 2013

The past month/ new year has flooded my brain with so much confusion that sometimes I just feel numb. To be perfectly honest with you. 

Yesterday, I got to thinking (naturally..) what if I'm just bored with my life? I felt this terrible sense of dread, yet at the same time knew I wasn't scared of anything. I just feel so weighed down by the mundane that has become my life. So many changes have taken place, and everything is starting to settle and my inner self is screaming at the top of her lungs WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU SURE WE ARE READY FOR THIS??! 

And everyday I hang my head a little lower and say I have no clue. 

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things that are going great! 

However, we, as mere mortals, all know that the bad almost always outshines the good. 

I never pictured I'd be where I am today. 

(Story of my life)

But then again, isn't that one of life's greatest mysteries? 

Amongst my inner turmoil, life is in full swing. My second semester at Pembroke is going nicely so far. The only complaints I have so far are brief: 

1. I signed up for an extra online class.. so far = big mistake. 

2. My economics class about brings me to tears everyday because it's so boring. 

3. I got a ticket today because I have yet to get a parking pass. (But I assure you, this problem will be rectified asap.) 

Tuesday Morning

One of my favorite personal pastimes is sitting on the floor writing in my notebook. Obviously I'm not writing in my journal now, but I am sitting on the floor. I've been in my bed all morning and I decided a change of pace would be nice. 
I woke up 45 mins before my alarm went off and it's only 9:07. It feels like it should be 12 by now! 

So far, this morning, I have managed to take goofy pictures of myself, decided to skip class ( its the last week before finals and we are watching a video..), get on facebook, get on pintrest, workout (shocking! I know! I found an easy ab workout on pintrest and since I was feeling lazy decided to give it a go.), and now here I am; sitting on the floor, putting my thoughts out there in cyberspace, oh and listening to George Strait (Don't judge me!). 


I know its been awhile, Thanksgiving has come and gone. I had a great break. The last couple of days, went by too fast though. Now that Thanksgiving is out of the way, we can focus on Christmas!!!!!! 
Ok, I'm not that excited.. 

It's hard to believe that this semester is basically over. All semester I've been waiting for this, and now that its here, I feel like it snuck up on me. However, the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. Yesterday I turned in my final research paper (for this semester). I know I'm speaking for a whole butt load of people when I say that I'll be glad when I get my gen ed credits out of the way and I can start on my Lit classes. After next semestre I should be able to start taking those. 

Now that I have bored you to tears... It's now 9:21. 
I almost feel motivated to clean or do something drastically productive. This is bad. Call the Preist! 

November

I do believe that this year was the first year in my life that I didn't dress up for Halloween.
And I'm ok with that. 

It's finally NOVEMBER!! 
I'm super-duper excited for November (obviously), lots of good things happening. 

1. My best friend turns 21! 
2. My lovely boyfriend and I are going to see a Tom Petty tribute band. ( The real T.P already finished this years tour by the time we checked it out, but this will satisfy completely. 
3. Thanksgiving!! Which means like two days of actual good cooked food. (one thing I've learned at college is that my culinary skills are lacking.) And it means a FOUR DAY WEEKEND!! 

And then of course after this there's December... Which I'm really excited about because school is over like the first week. I can hear the cherubs singing now. 
I'm kinda surprised at myself for being so excited about the holidays this yea. Maybe it's because I'm in love, or more mature..well I'd like to hope I'm more mature ;) 
Anyway, this year I'm welcoming the gobble of the turkey and ringing of the Christmas bells! 

Registering for Classes: Time Frames, Advisors, and the Email

"All the good classes are going to get gone!" 

First off, I'm pretty sure the phrase "get gone" is wrong.. in some parallel universe, you should just not say that. It sounds tacky. (even though I'm sure I've said it before) 

Second off, I signed up for classes in freaking July and still got in to the ones I wanted/needed. 

If you haven't figured out by now, I'm talking about registering for classes. And since everything is on the freaking internet, everybody expects you to do it by yourself. BIG SIGH. 

I hate having responsibility sometimes. 

Apparently there is a time frame for registration, or early registration I should point out, and everybody is freaking out about signing up for classes. Of all the things I worry about this is not one of them. Mostly, I'm not worried because I am a semester behind and I'm still taking general ed ( and trust me, nobody is breaking their neck to take bio 101). 
BUT it gets worse. (doesn't it always?) 
You have to have a PIN to register.  And apparently my advisor has the my PIN. Yesterday when I went to go get said PIN, she made a call and the other line told her I'd have to go she John Doe to get the PIN. Today when I called John Doe, he told me my advisor should have it. I sent my advisor and email, and OF COURSE I didn't put a subject, so if she doesn't reply I have to resend it, thus more waiting. And she may not even reply today.. 

My time frame to register early ends today. 

Story of my Life. 

Take It Easy

I am taking the easy (a.k.a  LAZY) way out tonight. 
I've heard these horror stories of college kidz doing "all nighters". that's not really my style. and since i am in this ever-going journey to find out who i am, i don't wanna do something that may not be like me.  

My Eng teacher told us to bring a copy of evidence paragraphs for our next paper to class tomorrow, I haven't even started. And instead of pulling something out of my butt, I'm going to start tomorrow! Hopefully. And technically I have my first claim written, so I have started somewhat. Real sucky start, but we all know I'm not exactly the model student. After a four hour grocery trip with roommates I do not feel like writing about cell phones.. instead I'll write to you about not writing. 
Oh the irony! 

Today has gone by fast.
Which I like. I hate when my days ddrrraaggg on.
And there you have it. I think I have lost my train of thought... 
Also, I think I may have a small fever. 

Tomorrow is HUMP DAY. Unless you're reading this tomorrow and it is HUMP DAY. 
Half-way through the week. Just keep on truckin', we can do this! 

Pumpkin Pie

"You need to blog more."

They like me, they really like me.
I like you too ;)


Not a lot going on lately, I was sick last week and missed a lot of school. Not to mention it was fall break, so I really haven't been to school in a whole week. I'm ready to get back. My brain is going to lock into sleep mode and I'll never the light at the end of the tunnel.

That's about it.

College sucks.

Not having a job sucks.

Once I hit the rock bottom I hope I'll bounce back.

Until them, wish me luck.

I'll try to come back sometime soon with something better.

Because you know what doesn't suck.
Pumpkin Pie! and now that its fall, that stuff its everywhere!!

Wednesday Update

"life makes love look hard, the stakes are high, the waters rough, but this love is ours." 

Taylor Swift always makes me feel better... most of the time... 

I have survived two whole days this week, a conference with my English teacher, a history test, and managed not to cry when I received a D+ on my last Eng assignment. 

Whew, and it's only Wednesday!! 

As you're now wondering "What?! You made a D+?!!" 

Yes, and I'll have you know that I'm stressing that plus. Instead of having class on Monday and today, my teacher had us schedule conference times to come meet with him in his office. 15 whole minutes. My conference only last 13 minutes, Thank God. 

I did, however, receive good feedback....

 "You're on the right track" and "Don't get discouraged about that low grade, you'll have a chance to revise it."

In all it went well, considering how terrified of him I am. I'm not too happy about that D.. but if I can fix it and bring it up a letter grade, I could be satisfied. 

My apt complex here at Pembroke is hiring a team member. I sent in my resume and sent up a prayer that something good will happen. 

Today is dreary.. it's cool and the breeze is nice, but it's threatening to rain and I have a long walk back to my room after class... I'd rather not walk in the rain. I still have yet to get an umbrella- ella-ella- aye-aye..  

Happy Wednesday Everybody! Hope your day sucks.. I mean. Have a great Day ;) 

me, taylor swift, and israel

SORRY FOR THE ABSENCE!

to be brief and blunt.. i feel like i have fallen off my rocker.
i have come to the conclusion that i don't like school. i i tell you otherwise i'm probably lying. i'm pretty good at that.. or am i? *strokes mustache*

today i have managed to make about 3% progress... as opposed to the 15% i usually try to make.

also today i gave myself a homemade hair cut because i have no money and had absolutely disgusting split ends. however, i have my own scissors, so i just took matters into my own hands. muahahaha.

currently i am listening to Taylor Swift, trying not to fall into the depths of dispair. i've been there a lot lately(hence fallen off rocker)
i am having a hard time adjusting and demons from my past.. that never really stayed in my past have caught up with me. before i reach suicidal breakdown mode again, i contacted my schools counseling service and i'm seeing someone. i just started and so i've really only complained about my english teacher (who is the devil's spawn, btw) apparently i have to figure out what "emily wants". what's going to make her happy? and i'll have you know, i told her my circus idea and she did not object!!!

but enough of that..

tomorrow will mark 6 months of dating Israel. ( a.k.a jeremiah, jerusalem, moses...)
i'm honest to goodness happy about this. yes, of course he makes me jump for joy and goo goo eyed, but over all he makes me content, which makes me happy. i feel like this is one of the most stable things in my life right now. most people don't get that, and people probably think we're crazy, which we probably are, but that works for us.

on an ending note, that's a life lesson i've recently learned: different things work for different people. relationships, school, work, dog preference.. and so on. we have no right to judge what others do.. even that's hard a lot of times. "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" 

College+Love=Mind Blown

I have no idea where to start. I have so many thoughts floating around in my head. 

But, as I've mentioned many times before, this IS MY BLOG and I can say whatever I'd like. 

And thank goodness it's not going to be graded! 

My English class is kicking my buttocks. 

My science/weather class has confused me beyond measure. 

My math class is actually going pretty well.. despite how much I hate math. 

My history class is.. well, it's going. 

There are sometimes ( like today when my work in my Eng class was ripped apart and basically scrutinized to poop.) when I feel like dropping out of school. 

But then a little silver lining appears (like when I make B's on my math work) that I feel like I can keep on trucking. 

Today I made a mantra of saying "I hate college." After a little while of that I realized that I don't really hate college, I hate general ed. Classes you have to take because the man says you have to take. When I can take a whole slew of classes I want to take, I think I might be happier.. and then again I could hate those as well. Hopefully we'll find out. You know, if I don't join the circus before then. 

Ok, so that's like 55% of the floating thoughts, the other 45% is my personal, romantic life. 

(which is going pretty good, thanks for asking:) 

Our relationship (me and my boyfriend, that is) is special. And I'm not just saying that because I'm blinded by love. I'm saying that because we have what is classified as a "inter-religious" relationship. 

It's complicated and then again, it's not. 

I'm a christian/Pentecostal and he's a Jehovah's Witness.  

At first it was weird.. and we weren't even sure it was a good idea.. and this is a long and complicated story.. sorta.. anyway, not really the point. 

The point:  Things have gotten really serious in the short amount of time we've know each other/been together. 

We've been playing "the what if and when" game. 

Over the past few days I've also had a lot of those "wow, never thought I'd be here" moments. And with the big, obvious reason it's really been mind blowing. 

Maybe

Maybe I should have stayed..

Maybe I should have gone... 

Maybe I should have ate breakfast.. 

Maybe I should have been more prepared.. 

Maybe these kids in the computer lab should not be on their cell phones...

Maybe I should just drop out of school and run away... 

Maybe I could hitch hike all the way to California, get a waitress job and live from couch to couch until I make it in the big time... 

Or not... 

Maybe I could run away and live off the land, like a pioneer.. 

Or not.. 

Maybe I could run away and meet a genie who would grant me three wishes.. 

That'd be nice... 

I've learned..

I have learned over the past several years ( because I'm so old and wise, I "know things" now) that life is constantly changing. Even if you live in the same dead beat town your whole life, you're always moving to a different stage of life. Sometimes it feels like you've leveled up, and sometimes it feels like you been sent to jail, not passing go, not collecting two hundred dollars. Sometimes you can't even collect two dollars. 

I have also recently learned that you can want something so much you can taste it. And then you get it and it leaves a bitter taste in you mouth. You want to give it back and ask the waitress to bring you tea instead of coke. Well in life, a lot of times there is not waitress to change your order, so you have to sneak back to the kitchen and do it yourself. And then sometimes you get caught by the bus-boy and you have to choke down the coke for the time being. 

Right now I'm at a stage in life where I'm trying to teach myself that sometimes you have to choke down the coke because you might like the taste eventually. Or it could be like beer and no matter how much you try to choke it down your stomach turns and you want to puke. 

If you're wondering where all this is coming from... 

I feel like school is kicking me in the butt right now... more like giving me a swirly in the boys bathroom.

 My first big assignment in my English class was to write a paragraph. Just one paragraph. We worked on them in class, in the lab, and got help from the teacher. I had three drafts of this one stupid paragraph and I got a freaking C. I know it wasn't perfect, but  I felt like my grade could've been a little better. 

Not to mention the first quiz I got a D on. And how bad I'm doing in my math class... 

I hate school. 

I said I wanted to be a English teacher... Umm... Needless to say, I'm rethinking that.     

I feel like giving up on school altogether. 

But I've learned that that just makes it worse.

 I'm choking down bad grades, a rough teacher, this semester, in hope that it will get better.                                                                                                                                                                                                  

College Weenie

I need a job, or at least some structured activites here at college, or i'm afraid I might turn into an even more weenie. To show you what I mean, I have photo evidence of my weenie-ness. Enjoy: 

I know what you're thinking "DANG, can I dem digits?" 

Ladies and Germs, there is no logical excuse for this. 

So far this is what college has done to me. My brain is still mushy from three months of doing nothing, and the aftermath of last semester. I'm not warmed up for critical thinking, analytical math question that are IRRELEVANT in the REAL WORLD, quizzes (pop or planned), or reading assignments. 

As far as the last hour of my college existence I have been glued to pintrest. 

I attempted the Braided Headband". It's soo cute. And since I'm such an avid lover of the braid, I'm trying to spice up my regular side braid. I think it might look better if my hair was curly, but here's my attempt: 

Earthlings and Tom Petty

GREETINGS EARTHLINGS! 

I was going to write this whole thing in caps, but I decided not to scream at you for a brief amount of time. To answer your question, no I am not dead and have not been eaten by a pack of savage wolfs. I have just been neglecting my self appointed blogging duties. 

I'm finally moved into my apartment at school! And I must say it's a pretty sweet hook-up. 

Classes do not start until tomorrow, so my brain still feels like mush. I have three classes tomorrow and I'm pretty sure that by the afternoon I'll feel like I've been beat in the head. 

I planned to walk to campus sometime today to walk around and get my bearings, but so far that plan has epicly failed. I've taken a shower, ate lunch with my roommates, and talked to my boyfriend. Walking around in the heat, not knowing where I'm going, just has not yet proved to be an exciting plan. I think I've talked myself into waiting until evening, so it'll be cool.

Right now I'm sitting at a ill angle typing away and listening to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Have I told you about my latest obsession with Tom Petty? It's been so long, I can't remember.

I'm convinced that all there stuff is good. So go to youtube (or spotify if you have it) type in Top Petty and the Heartbreakers and listen to everything!! 

my inner hippie is swooning 

Stevie Nicks: I'm going to join The Heartbreakers 

Tom Petty: but there are no girls in the Heartbreakers 

Money can buy Happiness

Hey,  What's up. 

Sorry I haven't been attentive. And I'll have you know that I've had so much on my mind lately, that if I would've put my mind to it I could have pounded out some good stuff. 

Like today I had this thought... (this sprouting from the ongoing college what-nots)

IT'S NOT FREAKING FAIR THAT ALL THESE STUPID "CELEBS" ARE ROLLING IN THE DOUGH SIMPLY BECAUSE THEY PARTY ALL THE TIME (JERSEY SHORE RING A BELL???) AND THE REST OF US (NORMAL PEOPLE WHO ARE SCRAPING TO GET BY) ARE UP TO OUR EYEBALLS IN DEBT JUST TO GO TO COLLEGE AND GRADUATE AND MAYBE GET A DECENT JOB AFTERWARDS!!!!! 

SERIOUSLY?! 

I mean, come on!! Where is the JUSTICE America???

Land of the free?!  

Yea, Right. Until you get a job and 1/4 of your hard earned money will be sucked out of that no questions asked. Got a problem with it? Well too freaking bad! 

Sorry for the outburst, readers. But you have to see where I'm coming from.

Stressed out doesn't even begin to describe how I've felt lately. 

"Money doesn't buy happiness." 

I think I'd have to disagree a little.. 

I'm going to College

You heard about Colorado? 
Of course you did. 


Tragic. 
It really should be unbelievable that human beings can be so violent, but it isn't. Ever since the fall of man ( if you believe in that sorta thing), humans have been warped. Most of us notice it on a daily basis, sadly society only acknowledges it when psycho- killers attack innocent movie goers. 


Needless to say I will be thinking and praying for said innocent movie goers. Also probably needless to say, what little desire I had to go see that movie is now gone. 






Not to be unsentimental, but by now you're tired of hearing about the sad event and it's time to enlighten you with what's the what what in my life! 

 (the best part of your day, don't deny it) 

I'M GOING TO COLLEGE!!! 
As in like I'm actually moving there. 
No, I'm not trucking half-way across the country to outlive a reckless desire for adventure. I'm trucking an hour away (if you drive the speed limit) to live out the more realistic dream of leaving home for a good education, yet still being close to home. 
I'll be attending University of North Carolina at Pembroke. Instead of staying a dorm, I'll be living in the apartments across the streets. My own room and BATHROOM! And sharing a living room and kitchen with three others. 
I'm super excited!! 
Everything is basically taken care of, just a few more things to sign, seal, and deliver. I.e: signing up for classes and getting shots! Not to enthused about that last part. 




So many things are coming up in the next couple of weeks, I wanna take it all in and not miss a beat. I'm exciting to turn this new leaf over in my life. (needless to say) I feel determined to make the most out of this year. Starting out on the right foot sorta thing. 

Hairy Situation

With not working much and not being in school right now, I have a lot of time to sit on my butt and not do much.

I mean I guess I could clean, give back to the community, or ... 

God help me, EXERCISE. 

yea.. or maybe not. 

Today was one of those days when I woke up and did not like what was staring back at me in the mirror. 

Regardless of the fact that my physical appearance sucked! ( breakouts, frizzy hair, bags under my eyes, eye buggers.. and so on.. ) 

I also have the heavy failure feeling drooping on my shoulders. Sitting around looking like a bum, I felt like a bum. Finally about two o'clock I looked myself in the eye and said "take a shower you smelly bum".

After my self- motivational speech I made it to the shower. Once I got in the shower my next thought was 

"humm I should probably shave while I'm in here" 

OMG WHY DO WOMEN HAVE TO SHAVE SO MUCH?!!

It a twenty minute attempt to de-hair myself. Not to mention the next 15 minutes it took to wash my hair, face, and body.  When I got out I noticed that I missed like half the bak of my thunder thighs and cut myself in like three places. It would have been easier to go to a butcher... well ok, maybe not. 

Usually after a shower I feel relaxed and less bum-ish looking.. not today. 

I was so frustrated after I got out the only thing I could do was cry. 

Ok, I didn't cry.. 

but I did use my good lotion and spent another twenty minutes on my hair and make-up.. which did make me feel a little better about myself. 

Where Am I?

Holy Crap, it's been a year since I graduated High School! 

(well technically there's like 4 more days to be considered a full year.. but who's counting?) 

I still have a bunch of high school friends on my FB, so I see a lot of the major news. Esp the buzz about Graduation. 

That was a good day. 

Actually, probably the best thing about high school was leaving it. The whole Graduation season is worthy of celebration, it's like Christmas for smart people.. and dumb people, as long as they passed everything! 

It makes me think... It's been a year and where am I? 

I sometimes hate asking myself this question. But sometimes I find positive things and it makes it worthwhile. 

I'm not on the fast track to Missouri, like I'd thought I'd be. Come to think of it I'm not on the fast track to anywhere. And for right now I'm making myself be ok with that. Until I figure out where I am going, it's ok to go slow.

In the past year I have learned some valuable life lessons:

Slacking gets you no where! 

Skipping class in bad! ..well skipping a lot of classes is bad... sometimes it's ok... 

Starting off on the wrong foot is bad! 

Being honest with yourself and others is good! 

Being logical and realistic is good! 

Taking risks is scary and good and an opportunity to lean! ( and get a cute boyfriend :)