man-candy

generally i panic and look down when i see boys that i like. i'm almost certain that it's a mental condition. 
however, as of late, i have been slowly cracking the shell open and making contact. 
this particular piece of man candy is in one of my classes at school. and for a while i've tried to make small flirty chit chat.. ( Lord help me!) at first, the only thing i did was stick my foot in my mouth, so i backed off. i have a tragic fear of rejection.. btw. 
after giving up, said man candy still noticed that i was on the planet, so often i give myself pep talks... and now that i have a plan of action the semester is over! i have really bad timing as well apparently. 
any who.. the other day i made great progress! i got out of my first class early and went i went to wait for my next one, guess who was sitting, ALONE i might add, man candy!
 i strolled right over to the couch and sat beside him. i grabbed his text book from his hand and threw it on the floor. before he could protest i grabbed his face in my hands and said in a very sensuous voice "i know you've been waiting for me" and i kissed him, in front of God and the computer geeks! 


..ok so we both know that really didn't happen. but wouldn't that have been amazing?!!! (yes, it would have) but i did go over there and sat across from him. i said "hey" i pulled out my book to read because i didn't want to look desperate. and to my surprise HE initiated conversation. we talked for like 30 mins before class. it was awesome :) 
baby steps. 
i have never admitted anything like this to anyone before(err.. at least publicly where it could come back to haunt me).. so feel special!! 
i want his number so bad i can taste the text messages. (too much?) 


will you look at this.. i'm losing my mind!! what has happened to Emily???!
*that is the though provoking question. 


ohh p.s! the best freaking part about this is he's tall!!! he has like 4 inches on me!! :) 

playing with fire.. err.. playing withstrangers

"Honesty is the best policy." Right?
Well since I am feeling honest right now let me tell you my small sad tale.
I have this really bad problem of talking to people on the Internet, a really bad problem. At school I have online classes so I have lots of time on the Internet when I have finished my work. Which can lead to really freaky things I've learned. Monday I wasn't doing anything so I was goofing off on the Internet and starting talking to this kid.. let's just call him Joe. I didn't talk to Joe that long before he asked me for my number. Now that should have been a red flag, but I was feeling adventurous that fine Monday. I gave it to him thinking he probably wouldn't contact me anyways. Well boy, was I ever wrong. He called me once and I was busy so he called back and the same thing happened. After the second time I thought he would just give up. Oh no. This kid called me and woke me up, it was like 11:30 pm! Well it gets better because my idiot self picked up the phone! We started talking and I didn't get off the phone until 3am. 3am. I have never stayed up that late.. ever. I also haven't laughed that hard in forever. The only problem was of our different religious views. And that is where is all went down hill. I have never met somebody so pushy about it. I talked to him the next night and it was OK, it was a little more awkward than the first. I really liked this kid (as much as you can like a person in just talking to them in like 4 hours.) But then he started getting really weird like repetitively asking me questions and harping on my answers. Yesterday I sent him an email and when he called my he started jumping down my throat about it. It was so weird.. after I got off the phone I crawled in the bed and vowed to myself that I was done wiht kid. He is all kinds of weird and I have enough problems anyway. Plus he is like 3 inches shorter than me!
That is a turnoff in itself.