first post of 2013

The past month/ new year has flooded my brain with so much confusion that sometimes I just feel numb. To be perfectly honest with you. 

Yesterday, I got to thinking (naturally..) what if I'm just bored with my life? I felt this terrible sense of dread, yet at the same time knew I wasn't scared of anything. I just feel so weighed down by the mundane that has become my life. So many changes have taken place, and everything is starting to settle and my inner self is screaming at the top of her lungs WHAT ARE YOU DOING? ARE YOU SURE WE ARE READY FOR THIS??! 

And everyday I hang my head a little lower and say I have no clue. 

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of things that are going great! 

However, we, as mere mortals, all know that the bad almost always outshines the good. 

I never pictured I'd be where I am today. 

(Story of my life)

But then again, isn't that one of life's greatest mysteries? 

Amongst my inner turmoil, life is in full swing. My second semester at Pembroke is going nicely so far. The only complaints I have so far are brief: 

1. I signed up for an extra online class.. so far = big mistake. 

2. My economics class about brings me to tears everyday because it's so boring. 

3. I got a ticket today because I have yet to get a parking pass. (But I assure you, this problem will be rectified asap.) 

Tuesday Morning

One of my favorite personal pastimes is sitting on the floor writing in my notebook. Obviously I'm not writing in my journal now, but I am sitting on the floor. I've been in my bed all morning and I decided a change of pace would be nice. 
I woke up 45 mins before my alarm went off and it's only 9:07. It feels like it should be 12 by now! 

So far, this morning, I have managed to take goofy pictures of myself, decided to skip class ( its the last week before finals and we are watching a video..), get on facebook, get on pintrest, workout (shocking! I know! I found an easy ab workout on pintrest and since I was feeling lazy decided to give it a go.), and now here I am; sitting on the floor, putting my thoughts out there in cyberspace, oh and listening to George Strait (Don't judge me!). 


I know its been awhile, Thanksgiving has come and gone. I had a great break. The last couple of days, went by too fast though. Now that Thanksgiving is out of the way, we can focus on Christmas!!!!!! 
Ok, I'm not that excited.. 

It's hard to believe that this semester is basically over. All semester I've been waiting for this, and now that its here, I feel like it snuck up on me. However, the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders. Yesterday I turned in my final research paper (for this semester). I know I'm speaking for a whole butt load of people when I say that I'll be glad when I get my gen ed credits out of the way and I can start on my Lit classes. After next semestre I should be able to start taking those. 

Now that I have bored you to tears... It's now 9:21. 
I almost feel motivated to clean or do something drastically productive. This is bad. Call the Preist! 

Registering for Classes: Time Frames, Advisors, and the Email

"All the good classes are going to get gone!" 

First off, I'm pretty sure the phrase "get gone" is wrong.. in some parallel universe, you should just not say that. It sounds tacky. (even though I'm sure I've said it before) 

Second off, I signed up for classes in freaking July and still got in to the ones I wanted/needed. 

If you haven't figured out by now, I'm talking about registering for classes. And since everything is on the freaking internet, everybody expects you to do it by yourself. BIG SIGH. 

I hate having responsibility sometimes. 

Apparently there is a time frame for registration, or early registration I should point out, and everybody is freaking out about signing up for classes. Of all the things I worry about this is not one of them. Mostly, I'm not worried because I am a semester behind and I'm still taking general ed ( and trust me, nobody is breaking their neck to take bio 101). 
BUT it gets worse. (doesn't it always?) 
You have to have a PIN to register.  And apparently my advisor has the my PIN. Yesterday when I went to go get said PIN, she made a call and the other line told her I'd have to go she John Doe to get the PIN. Today when I called John Doe, he told me my advisor should have it. I sent my advisor and email, and OF COURSE I didn't put a subject, so if she doesn't reply I have to resend it, thus more waiting. And she may not even reply today.. 

My time frame to register early ends today. 

Story of my Life. 

Friday Vampires

It's Friday. 

TGIF! 

Today for breakfast I've had Mt. Dew. 

For some reason I'm more focused on if Elana from Vampire Diaries is ever going to pick Damon and turn into a vampire, than anything else. I watched like 5 episodes yesterday.. and I dreamed I was a vampire last night, so I guess that explains it. 

I have my math class, and then I am going home!! 

"Everybody's working for the weekend" - this has become my life lately.I'm sure some of you can agree? 

Since, I'm so caught up on vampires right now, I'm curious.. 

If you could be a "mythical creature" (i guess that the right term?), what would it be? 

Take It Easy

I am taking the easy (a.k.a  LAZY) way out tonight. 
I've heard these horror stories of college kidz doing "all nighters". that's not really my style. and since i am in this ever-going journey to find out who i am, i don't wanna do something that may not be like me.  

My Eng teacher told us to bring a copy of evidence paragraphs for our next paper to class tomorrow, I haven't even started. And instead of pulling something out of my butt, I'm going to start tomorrow! Hopefully. And technically I have my first claim written, so I have started somewhat. Real sucky start, but we all know I'm not exactly the model student. After a four hour grocery trip with roommates I do not feel like writing about cell phones.. instead I'll write to you about not writing. 
Oh the irony! 

Today has gone by fast.
Which I like. I hate when my days ddrrraaggg on.
And there you have it. I think I have lost my train of thought... 
Also, I think I may have a small fever. 

Tomorrow is HUMP DAY. Unless you're reading this tomorrow and it is HUMP DAY. 
Half-way through the week. Just keep on truckin', we can do this! 

me, taylor swift, and israel

SORRY FOR THE ABSENCE!

to be brief and blunt.. i feel like i have fallen off my rocker.
i have come to the conclusion that i don't like school. i i tell you otherwise i'm probably lying. i'm pretty good at that.. or am i? *strokes mustache*

today i have managed to make about 3% progress... as opposed to the 15% i usually try to make.

also today i gave myself a homemade hair cut because i have no money and had absolutely disgusting split ends. however, i have my own scissors, so i just took matters into my own hands. muahahaha.

currently i am listening to Taylor Swift, trying not to fall into the depths of dispair. i've been there a lot lately(hence fallen off rocker)
i am having a hard time adjusting and demons from my past.. that never really stayed in my past have caught up with me. before i reach suicidal breakdown mode again, i contacted my schools counseling service and i'm seeing someone. i just started and so i've really only complained about my english teacher (who is the devil's spawn, btw) apparently i have to figure out what "emily wants". what's going to make her happy? and i'll have you know, i told her my circus idea and she did not object!!!

but enough of that..

tomorrow will mark 6 months of dating Israel. ( a.k.a jeremiah, jerusalem, moses...)
i'm honest to goodness happy about this. yes, of course he makes me jump for joy and goo goo eyed, but over all he makes me content, which makes me happy. i feel like this is one of the most stable things in my life right now. most people don't get that, and people probably think we're crazy, which we probably are, but that works for us.

on an ending note, that's a life lesson i've recently learned: different things work for different people. relationships, school, work, dog preference.. and so on. we have no right to judge what others do.. even that's hard a lot of times. "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" 

College+Love=Mind Blown

I have no idea where to start. I have so many thoughts floating around in my head. 

But, as I've mentioned many times before, this IS MY BLOG and I can say whatever I'd like. 

And thank goodness it's not going to be graded! 

My English class is kicking my buttocks. 

My science/weather class has confused me beyond measure. 

My math class is actually going pretty well.. despite how much I hate math. 

My history class is.. well, it's going. 

There are sometimes ( like today when my work in my Eng class was ripped apart and basically scrutinized to poop.) when I feel like dropping out of school. 

But then a little silver lining appears (like when I make B's on my math work) that I feel like I can keep on trucking. 

Today I made a mantra of saying "I hate college." After a little while of that I realized that I don't really hate college, I hate general ed. Classes you have to take because the man says you have to take. When I can take a whole slew of classes I want to take, I think I might be happier.. and then again I could hate those as well. Hopefully we'll find out. You know, if I don't join the circus before then. 

Ok, so that's like 55% of the floating thoughts, the other 45% is my personal, romantic life. 

(which is going pretty good, thanks for asking:) 

Our relationship (me and my boyfriend, that is) is special. And I'm not just saying that because I'm blinded by love. I'm saying that because we have what is classified as a "inter-religious" relationship. 

It's complicated and then again, it's not. 

I'm a christian/Pentecostal and he's a Jehovah's Witness.  

At first it was weird.. and we weren't even sure it was a good idea.. and this is a long and complicated story.. sorta.. anyway, not really the point. 

The point:  Things have gotten really serious in the short amount of time we've know each other/been together. 

We've been playing "the what if and when" game. 

Over the past few days I've also had a lot of those "wow, never thought I'd be here" moments. And with the big, obvious reason it's really been mind blowing. 

College Weenie

I need a job, or at least some structured activites here at college, or i'm afraid I might turn into an even more weenie. To show you what I mean, I have photo evidence of my weenie-ness. Enjoy: 

I know what you're thinking "DANG, can I dem digits?" 

Ladies and Germs, there is no logical excuse for this. 

So far this is what college has done to me. My brain is still mushy from three months of doing nothing, and the aftermath of last semester. I'm not warmed up for critical thinking, analytical math question that are IRRELEVANT in the REAL WORLD, quizzes (pop or planned), or reading assignments. 

As far as the last hour of my college existence I have been glued to pintrest. 

I attempted the Braided Headband". It's soo cute. And since I'm such an avid lover of the braid, I'm trying to spice up my regular side braid. I think it might look better if my hair was curly, but here's my attempt: 

Earthlings and Tom Petty

GREETINGS EARTHLINGS! 

I was going to write this whole thing in caps, but I decided not to scream at you for a brief amount of time. To answer your question, no I am not dead and have not been eaten by a pack of savage wolfs. I have just been neglecting my self appointed blogging duties. 

I'm finally moved into my apartment at school! And I must say it's a pretty sweet hook-up. 

Classes do not start until tomorrow, so my brain still feels like mush. I have three classes tomorrow and I'm pretty sure that by the afternoon I'll feel like I've been beat in the head. 

I planned to walk to campus sometime today to walk around and get my bearings, but so far that plan has epicly failed. I've taken a shower, ate lunch with my roommates, and talked to my boyfriend. Walking around in the heat, not knowing where I'm going, just has not yet proved to be an exciting plan. I think I've talked myself into waiting until evening, so it'll be cool.

Right now I'm sitting at a ill angle typing away and listening to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers. Have I told you about my latest obsession with Tom Petty? It's been so long, I can't remember.

I'm convinced that all there stuff is good. So go to youtube (or spotify if you have it) type in Top Petty and the Heartbreakers and listen to everything!! 

my inner hippie is swooning 

Stevie Nicks: I'm going to join The Heartbreakers 

Tom Petty: but there are no girls in the Heartbreakers