Went to Chapel and We got Marrrrriiiiieeedddd

This post is mainly for my Facebook population, but also for the rest of the world that reads my story. 

Yesterday (June 25 2013) I got married! 

Just let THAT sink in. 

I married my best friend and I couldn't possibly happier. (Well, if I didn't have to wait three days for the honeymoon I'd be somewhat happier.) We had a short and sweet ceremony at the church and then had the attendees back at our place for some food and.. video games. We mainly did this because we were living together already and we did want to right that wrong before God. We figured we're going to do it anyway, we might as well! 

Saying that, we are still having that big ceremony/par-tay in October! 

The ceremony yesterday was just what my pastor called the "I Do" portion. We said hopelessly romantic vows and sealed the deal. (too saucy a phrase?) It was short, but so sweet. I cried the entire time. I tried desperately to hold them back and the more I tried, the more they flowed. 
In that place with Israel and our close guests, I felt God with us and I felt his blessing. I am overjoyed at  starting this new chapter in my life. It was perfect. 
One of the happiest days of my life, and the best part is I get to do it twice! 

sometimes i forget that i used to...

I've seen "A Raisin in the Sun" 5 times now, (I'm running lights for the community show)and I still have four more shows to do! Not that I'm complaining (ok, maybe a little). I don't know what my problem was tonight. I couldn't focus on the play, it felt like it was never going to end. 


Every time I see the show I get something out of it. It makes you realize how much family is important. But then it gets your wheels turning about your family and how messed up it is. 
Mommy and Daddy are always at each others throats, your always fighting with your little sister, never see your big sister, nor your grandmother for that matter, and let's not even bring up the fact that there is always Daddy's girlfriend lurking in the background to sweeten the deal. 
I start to think about all that, and then I stop because it makes me sick on my stomach. 
My crack pot family( just for the record its only OK when I call them that!) stresses me out, but there not the only ones. School has not been going well either lately. I can't focus at work. I can't hardly eat. 
You know something is up when a fat chick can't eat. I take a few bites and I'm nausea. 
I feel myself slipping, maybe it's just the weather. 
Maybe not. 


Sometimes I forget that I used to fantasize about death. I wanted to die desperately. I'll catch myself off guard thinking about it. I was telling a friend the other day that I believe that once that evil has come upon, it never fully goes away. You get over it, in a sense where your life goes on, but deep down in you it will always be there. Not dominate, but dormant, lurking, to remind you. What it reminds you of is personal: shame, guilt, anger... the list could go on and on.
But on the bright side of that, we have Hope, wherever you find it: family, friends, religion, the beach, books, music, animals,..the list could go on and on. 
I choose to find my hope in all of those things ( which is why I listed them. muahah).


I didn't exactly mean to go this direction, but it was on my mind, and it has been awhile since we've discussed anything "deep". 

naughty panties for Christmas

Christmas Greetings Bloogers, Readers, and Facebookers alike!

Today I had Christmas Eve at my dad's house. The stocking were hung by the chimney with care and stuffed with really good gifts. Got some good gift cards, socks that call me naughty, candy, and a pocket mirror. Oh and germ X. Also I received a tee Shirt that says "put your big girl panties on, Get over it."
That tee shirt got dad a lot of cool points in the present contest this year, I have to admit. it's amazing. got a pair of panties on it and everything! However, the race is not over. Mom still gets to play tomorrow. and since I know (by pure accident!!) what I'm getting, I'm pretty sure she will take the cake.But we will not declare an official winner until tomorrow.

With all the gifts and fuss over The Big Day. I have really been giving some thought to Baby Jesus and those who won't be receiving tee shirts, and socks, or gift cards, or even a decent dinner. My heart goes out to them. As sad as I get, I have really been giving God some props. I'm so thankful for what I have. Sometimes my life seems like it really sucks, but when I think about it I have it so much better than a lot of people. So I encourage you, this Christmas to give some thought about what you have and to be grateful for it. Give the Big Guy some props, He more than deserves them!


Merry Christmas!
Don't Drink and Drive!
(I don't wanna attend a funeral over the holiday)

oh and P.S- My grandmaw is in the hospital.. I don't wanna go into detail, but while you are giving God props could you send up a prayer for her? THX :) 

this post is about a baby.. sorta...

it's sunday sunday sunday!
food is cooking, football is on, and.. my cousin smells weird. he was outside playing football.

culprit of the stink

Christmas is days away... just to state the obvious. every body else is talking about it, i figured i might as well go along with the crowd. It doesn't feel like Christmas. I feel like Cindy Lou Who, from the Grinch. I can hardly remember what Christmas "feels" like. Is there such a thing? "feeling" Christmas. I'm just ready to get it over with.

Last night my family had the annual Chinese Christmas party. We all get together and play the game, eat and be marry. Its a good time and the best part is, you leave with a present. as silly as the gift could be, (Christmas cookies and cookie cutters) it still counts as a present. and yes, yours truly left with the Christmas cookie cutters and a complementary bag of sugar cookie mix. I do look forward to this family function every year. ( shh, it's our little secret. i would't want to ruin my image*)
last night was pretty special too.. so you know how i have this thing about babies.. you know they scare the hell out of me thing.
well my cousin has this baby(which i accidentally called "thing" around the baby daddy.. whoops!).. cutest thing.. and i don't know what possessed me, but i held the baby. i was so scared she was going to cry, i'm not even gonna lie. but to my surprise she didn't. she laid her head down on me and was attempting a cat nap. she eventually was whisked off to bed. neither of us cried, that was amazing.
i have a picture that i will post later... it's on my facebook if you wanna go check it out :)

shot to hell

let's just lay everything out on the table...

the past few days, weeks, months? i haven't been able to properly function. 

i have no clue what is going on. it's like i've done a 180. 

i'm standing on the edge of the cliff again. don't worry, i don't plan to jump. 

i just don't know how to get myself out of the slump.

maybe it's the change of the seasons.. this seems to happen to me a lot when the seasons change. 

my internal axis gets flipped upside down and my mentality is shot to hell. 

yesterday, i went to the graveyard and walked around and listened to the dead.(a little too poetic?) all the while unloading my shot to hell mentality onto my best friend. (that's what a best friend is, somebody who walks around the graveyard with you because your depressed. that's love my dear readers.) 

"all i need is a little of the good life" 

what is the good life?! 

is it:

• Religion
• Family
• Friends
• Money
• Career 
• Knowledge 
• Contentment 

this is a quick list i made of things i think i want in life(not specifically in that order).. but how can you have ALL of them in the right balance? that's my thought provoking question. 

on a side note, with the thought of having balance in my life i've been thinking about taking up yoga. yea, wii fit yoga, back off! anywho.. maybe some mediation would be good. just a thought. 

fa la la la la la alalllalalalala

i hate holidays.
for as long as i can remember i have disliked them. well.. i kinda like Christmas because we all know Christmas is about presents, and i am a sucka for a present. "oh you didn't have to get me anything" is probably the biggest lie i tell! in my head i'm thinking, "yes, another present!!" 
Thanksgiving has always been an issue. family drama as usual. but now it's its even worse because my parents have split and we literally have to choose. naturally we are doing going to both, just like we did Christmas last year. last years' Turkey Day was easy.. we were on cruise with my mom. in theory i'd do that again. but no.. thats not an option this year.
i hate the end of the year. it starts getting really expensive and stressful. however, the good thing is that you can eat your feelings!! muhaha. which is not advisable, but realistic. 
you hate that you can't please both sides of the family adequately, but grandmaw's blueberry pizza pleases you stomach so much that eventually you stop caring. 
and Christmas is even better, because they subconsciously try to out do each other. exhibit A: last year my sister and i got ipods from pops, we went on a cruise ( that was more of a family gift though) wii games, gift cards, money.. we racked up on materialistic love! 




and i know what some of you are thinking; Emily, holidays are about the birth of Christ and Friends and Family and cheer and giving to others and blah blah blah.. yes that's all true, but let's face it for the most part that stuff gets put on the back burner. except the birth of Christ.. i think people who truly appreciate that still show it. 
any who.. 


the holidays are close to smothering us.. What's your least favorite part of the holidays? 

i hope its a puppy!! 

chinese food, scandalous views, navy blue

i only need like 300 more dollars and i'm there! (to my computer, that is)

this whole working for money stuff really isn't as bad as i thought it would be :) 

you work.

you get money.

then you get to buy stuff! 

of course that's after they take out taxes and you pay bills and give your 10% tithe, which i now proudly start doing:)

so if you live in America you probably realized that yesterday was July 4th and around these parts that's kind a big deal. yesterday i had to work and i'm not complaining  about going.. i'm complaining about not doing anything. it was soooo slow. i had maybe three orders to come in. i did some other stuff but i was basically just standing around trying not to fall asleep. i guess my boss could tell because she let me go like two hours early ( Thank God). 

we, being my family and i, had plans to go to this supposed to be big block party type thing and eat and do fireworks. joy. we got there it was a bust. i was frightened to be there. so we left and got Chinese food.

Chinese Food!

me and my little sister.. eating Chinese food!

after we left the Chinese place.. ( how many times can i say Chinese in one post? humm.) it looked like it was going to storm we decided to just go back home because none us liked the idea of watching works of fire in the thunder, lighting, and rain. 

at home i was chilling on the couch upside down.. don't ask why.. i just kinda happened to land that way. it was awesome.

upside view!

yes. yes, i am aware that that picture is scandalous of me. enjoy it :) 

any who the rain let up and we trucked back down to the fireworks. saw the display and came home. it was magical. ( please hint sarcasm) you know what they say about boobs, if you've seen one, you've seen em' all. ( well i assure you that is not true) 

however, i think the saying goes for fireworks.. the displays may be different but its all basically the same. i personally like really loud fireworks. the  BOOM is exciting. and i like it when the sky is pitch black. the colors exploding onto a dark canvas as much more moving to me than after the sun barely has time to go away and its like navy blue. 

oh and on a final note : that song "if i die young" by the band perry.. is great :)

Beach bum

Spring break is in full swing and I am loving every minute of it. Camped out on the beach all day Sat and I'm paying for it now with wicked sunburn. It's all good though once its gone I'll have a decent tan :) I have throughly enjoyed being here with family... which surprises me. Tomorrow I'm meeting up with friends and spending a few days with them. Believe it or not this is my first spring break that I actually went somewhere.. its been wonderful :)
P.s : however we missed church yesterday.. that was weird.
P.p.s: tons of new Yorkers down here.. epicness!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.7