Oh, So You're In Love?

Let's just be real for a second.. just one second. 

If you've been dating a week, you do not love that person. You like them a lot and have those intense stomach butterflies that make you wanna puke.

 Trust me, I know what that's like. (I can testify to these things now!) 

I know this is becoming a pretty common complaint, but it's driving me nuts how people on facebook are like: "i love you baby, ur my whole world. idk what id do w/o u. *insert date*" 

Over the past couple of weeks, I've had to restrain myself from making snide comments because I didn't want to start a fight. But, trust me, I know I'm right. If you've been dating a less than a month and you're already claiming that person is "your world" you need help. and Jesus. He's your world. 

When I first told Israel I loved him, I felt like I was going to puke. (of course this is also part of my personality, I don't just go around loving everybody) And let the record show it was like two months after we started dating. I didn't fall in love with him and confess it until like 3 or 4 months. And even then I was thinking I was rushing into things. 

Being with Israel has been the first and longest relationship I've ever had and I'm not terribly ashamed to admit that because I don't have this horrid track record of guys who did me wrong. With that said, I don't know a lot about relationships from a personal experience, but I've witnessed a lot and seen enough lifetime movies to know what works and what doesn't work. Such as, overusing the L word. 

And most of the time people (especially us young whippersnappers with raging hormones) mix up the L words Love and Lust. And that's another post for another day. 

Dating a week= you do not love that person. You have intense butterflies and chances are you just like having sex with them. 

"Don't have sex, you will get pregnant and die" - Mean Girls. 

me, taylor swift, and israel

SORRY FOR THE ABSENCE!

to be brief and blunt.. i feel like i have fallen off my rocker.
i have come to the conclusion that i don't like school. i i tell you otherwise i'm probably lying. i'm pretty good at that.. or am i? *strokes mustache*

today i have managed to make about 3% progress... as opposed to the 15% i usually try to make.

also today i gave myself a homemade hair cut because i have no money and had absolutely disgusting split ends. however, i have my own scissors, so i just took matters into my own hands. muahahaha.

currently i am listening to Taylor Swift, trying not to fall into the depths of dispair. i've been there a lot lately(hence fallen off rocker)
i am having a hard time adjusting and demons from my past.. that never really stayed in my past have caught up with me. before i reach suicidal breakdown mode again, i contacted my schools counseling service and i'm seeing someone. i just started and so i've really only complained about my english teacher (who is the devil's spawn, btw) apparently i have to figure out what "emily wants". what's going to make her happy? and i'll have you know, i told her my circus idea and she did not object!!!

but enough of that..

tomorrow will mark 6 months of dating Israel. ( a.k.a jeremiah, jerusalem, moses...)
i'm honest to goodness happy about this. yes, of course he makes me jump for joy and goo goo eyed, but over all he makes me content, which makes me happy. i feel like this is one of the most stable things in my life right now. most people don't get that, and people probably think we're crazy, which we probably are, but that works for us.

on an ending note, that's a life lesson i've recently learned: different things work for different people. relationships, school, work, dog preference.. and so on. we have no right to judge what others do.. even that's hard a lot of times. "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" 

Captain America Saves the Timeline!

I don't know if I should start with confessing my love for Captain America or if I should express how disgusted FB has made me lately. 

Let's start with the captain. That's more fun! 

I have friends that are really (really) into the superhero thing. And I, having never seen any of them ( except spiderman. does that count?), was encouraged ( by encouraged, I mean forced. kidding. ) to watch them. Living under the style of, GO Big or Go Home, I watched 3...ok 2 and a half in one day. And in case you didn't know. Superhero movies are longer than regular hero movies. Hence the SUPER. 

Yesterday I started off my day watching Captain America ( my favorite so far.) and later that evening I saw Thor, and the first half of Iron Man. 

The reason I like Captain American the best is because it's the story of an underdog! And you know me, Imma sucka for an outcast ;) The movie had a little bit of everything, which I also enjoyed. ( and by everything I mean Chris Evans. Hello! hehe. kidding.. well sorta kidding) Morals, action, romance, comedy, wit, charm, bad guys, and Nazi. EVERYTHING!  

If you haven't seen it, I encourage you to watch it.

 Thor was good. The ending left me displeased. HE HAS TO GET THE GIRL! As a girl, I feel that it is my reward if I have to sit through a long ass war movie, there better be a romantic kiss at the end. 

Just saying. 

 

Now that you are aware of how awesome CA is... you're wondering, why is she upset with FB? 

Well as we all know, or if you live in the state of NC you know, that they passed the marriage amendment. I personally can't tell you how I feel about this because, honestly, I'm torn by it. But there are people who have taken sides and ruthlessly throw down on FB! And if it wasn't bad before, the amendment passed, and the people who are against it are freaking out even more. But honestly, if you think about it, NC IS in the Bible Belt.. so the majority rules when you think about it this way. It's a sticky situation any way you look at it. All I'm saying is keep it off FB.

Happy Ending

Ever think to yourself, "I watch too much tv"? 

Me too! 

However, the thing that sets me apart from you is that I'm always thinking to myself "I read to much" (which we all know is crazy talk! that can never be done!)  

Every time I get around somebody that I "like", my inner 8th graders takes over and I turn into this daydreaming dope. I start playing silly love songs and pretending my life is going to "take off."

FYI- the "taking off" part has yet to happen. 

Along with the silly songs, I also have this thing where I wish on every star that my life will turn out like a Sara Dessen book. ( great YA books!) 

There is always a girl (me) with some sort of issue (also me) and a boy (not to be named). They bond and form this awesome relationship ( yay for friendship!) and you start to think towards the middle of the book, finally they are going to be together. But no! There is always some falling out (with me that is bound to happen), however the book gods shine on them and they end up happily ever after ( at least that's what you are left with. you never really know because she hardly ever writes sequels.) 

I'm at the stage of the bonding and forming of said relationship. And unlike the lucky ladies in the books, I know early on that I like the said unnamed boy. I know it, and I think about it waaayyy too much. 

I've gone through this process countless times and have yet to have a happy ending. (Of course with the divorce rate skyrocketing, not a lot of people are experiencing that lately. which is kinda irrelevant right now..) 

I'm waiting, and getting impatient, for my happy ending! I want a truly novel romance. And not some hot and heavy sex story. I want depth, connection. A traveler, (a tall traveler!) with mysterious eyes. 

The song "All I Ask of You" from The Phantom of the Opera pretty much sums it up. 

I'm not a russian spy!

wow.. there for a second it was like i forgot i had a blog. 
Christmas is over with! now.. let's move on.


WAIT! 
i know what you're waiting for... 
who won the present contest? *drumroll*
MOM!! 
we all knew that was coming.. but i still wanted to announce it.
 Good job mommy, and thank you ever so much for the amazing gifts! 
She took the lead, hands down, with the record player. But then kicked the game into overtime by surprising me with a Kindle. 
whew.. ok. now it's over. 


i took personal time to reflect on 2011, however, i don't feel the need to go over my reflections with you. that what this whole freaking blog is about.. you going on the journey with me, so i don't have to boo whoo at the end of the year. you can just read previous posts. also i didn't bother with making a resolution, as i noticed many people did not do this year. i think everybody is starting to realize that's a very dumb thing to do because by Feb most people have already stopped going to the gym and smoked 20 packs of ciggs, so the whole resolution is down the toilet. 


not having to go to school or work has been amazing, but all good things must come to an end. i go back to work tomorrow and school starts on Monday. Which i'm excited about: new semester, new classes ( acting class!!), new people.. and by new people i mean new boys to gawk at ;D 

man-candy

generally i panic and look down when i see boys that i like. i'm almost certain that it's a mental condition. 
however, as of late, i have been slowly cracking the shell open and making contact. 
this particular piece of man candy is in one of my classes at school. and for a while i've tried to make small flirty chit chat.. ( Lord help me!) at first, the only thing i did was stick my foot in my mouth, so i backed off. i have a tragic fear of rejection.. btw. 
after giving up, said man candy still noticed that i was on the planet, so often i give myself pep talks... and now that i have a plan of action the semester is over! i have really bad timing as well apparently. 
any who.. the other day i made great progress! i got out of my first class early and went i went to wait for my next one, guess who was sitting, ALONE i might add, man candy!
 i strolled right over to the couch and sat beside him. i grabbed his text book from his hand and threw it on the floor. before he could protest i grabbed his face in my hands and said in a very sensuous voice "i know you've been waiting for me" and i kissed him, in front of God and the computer geeks! 


..ok so we both know that really didn't happen. but wouldn't that have been amazing?!!! (yes, it would have) but i did go over there and sat across from him. i said "hey" i pulled out my book to read because i didn't want to look desperate. and to my surprise HE initiated conversation. we talked for like 30 mins before class. it was awesome :) 
baby steps. 
i have never admitted anything like this to anyone before(err.. at least publicly where it could come back to haunt me).. so feel special!! 
i want his number so bad i can taste the text messages. (too much?) 


will you look at this.. i'm losing my mind!! what has happened to Emily???!
*that is the though provoking question. 


ohh p.s! the best freaking part about this is he's tall!!! he has like 4 inches on me!! :) 

p.s answer my question!

my ears are sore. i put bigger gauges in and boy, i'm feeling it now. i'm at a size 4 :) it doesn't look as big as i thought it would, however, when compared to the regular hole, its pretty intense. 

check it out!! 

i have basically wasted the day away. 
i keep thinking about studying for that midterm, however, i haven't really accomplished much. i read over some stuff this morning, but i didn't get much further.
 i put a load of laundry in the washer, went to work, came home, got on the computer, ate, went to wal-mart, and now i'm back on the computer. where are my priorities??
not on my western civ exam thats fo sho! 


ever had those moments when your just like wtf just happened? 
i've been having those a lot lately. 
like when this drunk came into work today badgering me about fresh potato wedges then literally mid sentence just walked away. 
wtf?
or when you text this guy you like for something totally stupid  and you expect a super nice answer and you get some dip shit answer.
wtf?
maybe its me. maybe i just attract losers. people who don't call/text back. creepy people in wal-mart, and old men. its like i have a magnet planted in my head that they are drawn to. 
this thought pattern is depressing me. 
any who.. i have school tomorrow. that thought is finally refreshing. i can't get over how amazing it is to actually enjoy going to school. (with the exception of western civ of course)


what about you, where is somewhere refreshing you enjoy going? 


p.s: for those of you who read this.. if you haven't noticed, the past couple of post have ended with a question.. you could answer it. you know. if you feel so led :)  

speaking of..

i went to wal mart last night on a mission to get some much needed shampoo and conditioner. i got the shampoo and conditioner, and sweat pants, and Ben and Jerry's FroYo. 
geez one guy doesn't call me back and i have a meltdown. 
i jest, i jest. i didn't have a meltdown. i just really wanted  ice cream and the sweats are super comfy! 
it just ironically came to pass that i bought them on the same weekend that that one said guy didn't call me back. 
speaking of the opposite sex, i was telling my grandmaw about how when i sit there and think about boys it stressing me out and that i believe i spend to much of my time doing that. 
her reply was that it was natural at my age and that if i wasn't thinking about boys she would be concerned.
speaking of my grandmaw, i went to her house today to visit since it had been awhile. 
when i got there she was pulling weeds, talk about perfect timing. i helped her finish up and then she asked if i ever got the trash up out of my car ( that she bought me). i played around the question. 
yea, its not that bad right now. well long story short we picked the trash up, changed the seat covers, washed the floor mats, flushed and refilled the antifreeze, put oil in the.. wherever oil goes and we are still not done! myrtle needs a filter and power steering fluid AND the freaking tag needs to be updated. 
*if anybody rats me out to the cops i will hunt you down and destroy you* i'm working on it! 
i love my grandmaw. i'm sorta complaining because that wasn't exactly what i had in mind when i set out over there, but then again she's on top of it and gets things taken care of that i didn't even know needed taking care of. 
speaking of something else... the SKILLET concert is this friday and of course i'm attending :) 
words cannot express how excited i am! a few days a friend of mine asked me what songs i wanted them to play the most. thats not a fair question. i want them to play them all! muhaha. i'm a greedy panhead. 
if i had to pick one i think it would the the last night . its from the comatose album and holds a special place in my heart. it was basically my favorite song when i was going through my.. rough time or whatever the heck ya wanna call it. if you don't listen to Skillet, go now. if you don't like them, don't ever talk to me. it just won't work out. here's a video of skillet awesomness! p.s : John Cooper is my Justin Beiber.. so back off. 

crisp cool meltdown

kdnJSDNM,XCMNXZ, XCXJV'QLKANSM,ZX 492-QR[Pfksodjlfvnmcx,svnxcmn,sdf

that right there... all that.. up there.. that is the result of me molesting my keyboard. 

and i'm pretty sure thats an accurate representation of whats going on in my brain. 

i have a test in my next class thats pretty important.. i will refresh my brain after i upload a sucky blog post :) 

or maybe not.. maybe i won't upload this because its so sucky.   

"my oh my what a beautiful day outside.." it is a beautiful day. its fall! the crisp, cool breeze is so refreshing. i'm wearing jeans to school today and its so comfy! despite the fact that i had starbucks this morning i could use a nap.. 

my nose is having a spaz attack! i just sneezed like 5 times in a row. 

this is going nowhere. 

these post have been lacking very much so.. i apoligize. i'll try harder. 

i keep telling people that and i really haven't been been... story. of. my. life.

my love life and webcam photos

a huge boulder has been lifted from my shoulders.. Tim finally has proper software!! *throws confetti and pops some bubbly* 
it cost me literally a whole paycheck, but thats ok. it was worth it! i'm a bit more prepared for college.. and thats what counts right? 


to restate the obvious.. yes i know this hasn't been very well kept up.
but i have good reasons! 
-school
-work
-working on my love life..           
and by that i mean there is this really cute guy in one of my classes and i got two nods from him the other day. two nods! woot woot. progress. baby steps. 
and my two year crush is going well too. there is progress :) however, it seems like whenever we get alone. we aren't alone. awkwardness just circles around us like cancer. i hate the awkwardness. it's like that part in Ricky Bobby.. "i don't know what to do with my hands" baby steps. but i'm not getting any younger here.. i'm tired of taking baby steps.. geez dude just ask me on a date. i don't wanna freaking marry you. any who.. 


me and my little sister have been entertaining ourselves the past couple of days with the webcam and its effects.. 

this is my.. i'm going to eat your children face 

i should not have smoked that.. 

trim spa before...

after.

cheesy tease

i want to tell you a story.  a seriously sweet story that has had me grinning all night.. but i can't tell you.. (i know, i'm such a tease) because names will get dropped ( even if i use secert code names you'd still figure it out) and it will open a can of worms that is basically already opened i just don't want to feed the flame..

plus i refuse to bring cheesyness to my blog.. 

well boy cheesyness. unless it deals with John Cooper or any other hot rock star i choose to drool over.

but just know that i have been in a great mood the past few days.. cheeseyness and all :) 

the other night i had a dream that my hair was cut in a bob. omg. it was a nightmare. my hair was at my ears! ohh the horror. 

last night i had another dream that my friends called me fat and laughed me out of my house. in the dream we were at my house and they called me fat and stated laughing at me.. i got upset and ran outside and started running. (i have dreams where i run. a lot) it was weird. but then i had another dream.. that was weird. but fed to my cheeseyness. :) aye! 

oh the update on Tim and internet.. no.. the ethernet thing didn't work out too hot.   

my church mission trip is in a few weeks.. i am stoked! its going to be amazing. we are going to Wilmington to do a vbs at the first assembly church.. where they have no kids! so we are going to draw them and there families to the church. pray with me and plant a seed :) 

i'm all about planting seeds with prayer lately.. its struck a chord with me.

sports poster vs. leather bound book

this is pointless and has nothing to do with what i'm going to talk about. but i've noticed that i'm not ugly. ( is that too bold? i mean i'm not saying i'm the most beautiful person in the world..) i'm just not photogenic. all my pictures suck. my mom recently put up some college picture frames on the walls and all the pictures of me are terrible! i have come to that conclusion and wanted to share it with you.

now that that revelation is out of the way: last night i had another dreadful sleep. i was up most of the wee hours tossing and turning and trying not to have an episode. ( it bothers me when i can't get to sleep)in the midst of my warding off an episode i was pondering over various topics of life and i started treading toward the topic  of boys then decide to make a U- turn. but on the way there the thought struck me that there are some people that belong in your life and some who don't. things as well as people. 

like oxygen belongs in your life... you need it to survive. 

crack doesn't really belong in your life.. you know, unless your mommy snorted up when you were in the womb and you born addicted to it. by all means snort away.*

same goes for people.

like your mom. you need her. no matter how many times she tells you to make your bed, even though we both know this is a pointless chore!

but the people we don't need in our lives are those that make us want to rip our hair out! 

or you know that guy who is really nice and means well but under circumstances he kinda creeps you out. plus he lives out of town and whats the point in trying to cook something up with somebody when you are planning on moving cross country next year? no point.

i don't think,OK i know he doesn't belong in my life. 

i used the example in my head last night that your life is like your room.. filled with things that belong. 

my bed. 

my books.

awesome wall art. 

if you had things that didn't belong your room wouldn't look right. 

life if i had a sports poster hanging up in my room. it would stick out like a sore thumb. 

that's how i feel like when i talk to said guy. like he's a sports poster.. doesn't fit and totally doesn't match my room. 

what i'm looking for is something like a leather bound book. maybe red or brown. full of depth. and substance. 

 

* for sarcastic purposes only