Best Breakup Poem Ever

Best Breakup song  poem ever : "Neutral Tones" by Thomas Hardy. 

We have a "best" song for everything - dance, love, party, and the favorite, breakup song. (And all I can think of is Taylor Swift, can you blame me?) 

In the midst of these melodic power cords, we have lost sight of the art of poetry. 
A poem.. oh yea.. I guess that's.. yea whatever. 

Probably what every teenager thinks when the word "poetry" is uttered. 
And I'll admit, sometimes poetry is a drag, esp early British Literature. 
BUT! 

We read this poem in class and it has just struck a cord in me. Even though I'm not going through a breakup, and never really have, I have had my heartbroken and I've read enough books to empathize. 

We stood by a pond that winter day,

And the sun was white, as though chidden (rebuked) of God,

And a few leaves lay on the starving sod;

         – They had fallen from an ash, and were gray.

Your eyes on me were as eyes that rove

Over tedious riddles of years ago;

And some words played between us to and fro

         On which lost the more by our love.

The smile on your mouth was the deadest thing

Alive enough to have strength to die;

And a grin of bitterness swept thereby

         Like an ominous bird a-wing….

Since then, keen lessons that love deceives,

And wrings with wrong, have shaped to me

Your face, and the God curst sun, and a tree,

         And a pond edged with grayish leaves.

It seems long, but read it, I promise it's amazing.

 The third stanza is my favorite. Just take a second to appreciate that. The smile on your mouth was the deadest thing/ alive enough to have strength to die. 

Not even concerning a breakup, this line, just describes every smile in every awkward moment, death, heartbreak, defeated moment in your life. It just blows me away ( am I nerding out too much here?)!!

The  poem, is in fact about a break-up, but not some drag out fight. The two people lost their way in love and just fell apart. I have had arguments with Israel where we both feel backed into a corner and defeated and sometimes you walk away with that dead smile. In our case it didn't break us, but come on! That last stanza keen lessons that love deceives, that is powerful my friend! 

Wednesday Update

"life makes love look hard, the stakes are high, the waters rough, but this love is ours." 

Taylor Swift always makes me feel better... most of the time... 

I have survived two whole days this week, a conference with my English teacher, a history test, and managed not to cry when I received a D+ on my last Eng assignment. 

Whew, and it's only Wednesday!! 

As you're now wondering "What?! You made a D+?!!" 

Yes, and I'll have you know that I'm stressing that plus. Instead of having class on Monday and today, my teacher had us schedule conference times to come meet with him in his office. 15 whole minutes. My conference only last 13 minutes, Thank God. 

I did, however, receive good feedback....

 "You're on the right track" and "Don't get discouraged about that low grade, you'll have a chance to revise it."

In all it went well, considering how terrified of him I am. I'm not too happy about that D.. but if I can fix it and bring it up a letter grade, I could be satisfied. 

My apt complex here at Pembroke is hiring a team member. I sent in my resume and sent up a prayer that something good will happen. 

Today is dreary.. it's cool and the breeze is nice, but it's threatening to rain and I have a long walk back to my room after class... I'd rather not walk in the rain. I still have yet to get an umbrella- ella-ella- aye-aye..  

Happy Wednesday Everybody! Hope your day sucks.. I mean. Have a great Day ;) 

me, taylor swift, and israel

SORRY FOR THE ABSENCE!

to be brief and blunt.. i feel like i have fallen off my rocker.
i have come to the conclusion that i don't like school. i i tell you otherwise i'm probably lying. i'm pretty good at that.. or am i? *strokes mustache*

today i have managed to make about 3% progress... as opposed to the 15% i usually try to make.

also today i gave myself a homemade hair cut because i have no money and had absolutely disgusting split ends. however, i have my own scissors, so i just took matters into my own hands. muahahaha.

currently i am listening to Taylor Swift, trying not to fall into the depths of dispair. i've been there a lot lately(hence fallen off rocker)
i am having a hard time adjusting and demons from my past.. that never really stayed in my past have caught up with me. before i reach suicidal breakdown mode again, i contacted my schools counseling service and i'm seeing someone. i just started and so i've really only complained about my english teacher (who is the devil's spawn, btw) apparently i have to figure out what "emily wants". what's going to make her happy? and i'll have you know, i told her my circus idea and she did not object!!!

but enough of that..

tomorrow will mark 6 months of dating Israel. ( a.k.a jeremiah, jerusalem, moses...)
i'm honest to goodness happy about this. yes, of course he makes me jump for joy and goo goo eyed, but over all he makes me content, which makes me happy. i feel like this is one of the most stable things in my life right now. most people don't get that, and people probably think we're crazy, which we probably are, but that works for us.

on an ending note, that's a life lesson i've recently learned: different things work for different people. relationships, school, work, dog preference.. and so on. we have no right to judge what others do.. even that's hard a lot of times. "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" 

Go Clean Your Room

I live in an apartment.
It's one of the nicer complexes in the area, however, it has problems.
Like they have this nasty habit of doing inspections. 


If your like me, your all like " WTF?"

WTF?
Seriously, bro?

I completely understand that they want to keep it clean in and blah, blah, blah..
But for someone who doesn't regularly make the bed, it's downgrading to have somebody with a bad haircut and a clipboard tell you when to clean your room. And the bathroom. AND make your bed.
I used to think that I'd be happy always living in the apartment scene.
Now I realize the joys of having your own house.
Nobody to tell you when to clean your room.

And yes, I'm fully aware of how lazy this makes me sound.
But laziness is one of my finest attributes, which is why you love me :)

Also.. on a completely unrelated note. I'm watching the CMT music awards and Journey is performing with Rascal Flatts ( is there one "T" or two?)
First off... Why is journey playing with them??
Second.. what's with the asian?  However, I have to admit, he's good.
Taylor Swift didn't win anything :(  I was sad.