Sunday, October 30, 2011

ghetto booty hot dog tattoos

so today at Ross, i bought these super tight ghetto booty jeans. i mean, every curve/roll is being rugged and squeezed. 
i'm not sure how well this will go over, but we're gonna try them out. i really bought them because when i wear my rain boots, i want to wear them like the little preppy girls. you know the whole tucked in deal. 

Tuesday is my last day working at the grill. i'd be lying to say i wasn't excited. not that i don't like the people there ( and by that i mean the people that i work with, the customers are a different story..) i'm just ready for something else. i hate slinging hot dogs and cleaning up explosive dookie off the walls. oh the horror. i have another job lined up, which is the main reason i'm leaving the grill. this couple at my church has a curtain shop and have offered me a job there, so i seized the opportunity! i start on Thursday at 10 o'clock :) 
good things come to those who wait.. and believe me, i've been waiting. 
speaking of good things, i'm getting a tattoo. 
hells yea, i'm super excited. 
its going to be the quote "love conquers all" ( yes i know that can be a cheesy quote, but for me its all about the Jesus love, and when you think about it that way.. it's perfect! ) in front of the quote there is going to be a bird cage with the door open and then little birds flying away. it doesn't sound as good as it will look, i promise it will be intense :) 

so speaking of tattoos, if you have a tattoo, why do you have one? if not, let's say you were to get one, what would it be? 

Friday, October 28, 2011

i'm pregnant

i feel a bit sad, not gonna lie. 
it's friday night.. and i'm sitting home on the couch, in my sweats, with my mom watching tv. 
wow. living it up big time. 
i kinda sorta thought i was gonna hang with my best friend, but know.. she ran off into the sunset with her husband. story of my life. 
boo hoo. woe is me.
i think every person deserves a moment like this is their life. yes, i take hold of them a lot, but that's a different story for a different day. 


a story for today... 
ahh ok!
so: 
in my world religions class today  there is this kinda weird black girl and towards the end of class she blurts out.. 
B.G: mr. hairr what time is it? 
M.H: 10:36... were you wanting it to be 10:50 already?
B.G: yea.. i'm really upset and i can't focus. 
M.H: well if your that upset you can go ahead and go, i won't keep you
B.G: i can go? *M.H nods his head* thanks, i'm just really upset. i'm pregnant.
and then she freaking walks out of class!! 
it was the crazy. after she left the whole class busted out laughing. not because she's prego, but because of the way it all happened. it was like, WTF just happened? 
i love college :) 

Thursday, October 27, 2011

he's gone

i dreamed about you again last night.
i thought i was over with that. you're the it in every song that is my haunting, taunting heartbreak.
i was walking down the beach, thinking about you, about how i missed you and how perfect it would be if you were here with me. i was passing a hotel i had never seen before, and when i looked at it, i just knew you were there. my first thought was that you were up, sitting outside on the balcony. as i was walking through the pool area, on my way inside, there you were. you were sitting in a white lounge chair, dripping wet, and drinking a beer. typical you, i thought. something rushed through me that filled me with every emotion known to man. i was overjoyed that you were right in front of me, yet angry because you stayed away so long. we looked at each other for what seemed liked forever. all i said was hello.  you nodded and smiled at me. i knew it was ok. you were waiting for me too. i remember your hair was longer. i said something to you, but i couldn't make out what i said. it was fuzzy and inaudible. i ran my fingers through your hair and walked inside. my plan was to just wait for you in there. i was waiting for you to follow me this time.
i waited and waited and finally decided to go upstairs. the first few flights were crowed with people and it was hard for me to get past them at a fast pace. i was really excited now. i ran and ran up tens of flights. (it was a big effing hotel, with no elevator!) eventually nobody was around and i realized i didn't know what room was yours. i kept running, thinking i would just know, kinda like i did when i saw you. after more running, i stopped and realized i was alone, nobody was around, and you weren't coming after me. not last time, and not this time. i couldn't cry in the dream. i felt to heavy to let even tears escape. the dream ended and when i woke up i was long winded.
how many times will i have dreams about being left? why is suddenly the thought of being left alone scaring the hell out of me?
what is it about me that makes you, or anybody, not want me?
i don't understand most of it. the reality, i mean. the dream i can interpret just fine.
i shouldn't have tested you. i should've just stayed there with you, when i had to chance.
shoulda, coulda, woulda

*p.s dear reader, i know by now you're thinking who is she talking about??
i promise you, you don't know him. he's gone. thats all that really matters. if you ask me about it, that's what i'll tell you, he's gone. 


*what or who is  haunts and taunts you in dreams/nightmares? 

Friday, October 21, 2011

washing machines and plan B

yes, yes the background is washing machines.
why washing machines?
because i thought it was awesome! they have a whole slew of pictures to choose from.. you can even choose one of your own, which is amazing!
everything is subject to change.. i was trying stuff out. there were a lot of this (design template wise) that i hadn't messed around with in a while. i wanted to catch a power nap before class, but that doesn't seem like it will happen. plus i have issues with sleeping sitting up.
(i have issues with everything)
i'm hungry... i didn't really eat breakfast this morning and i'm feeling it now. by not really eating i mean, i had a cupcake but that does't really count.

so the library at school does this really awesome thing where they , i assume clean house per say, and give away old books for free. there is a huge stack of them by the door. i was going to check it out on my in, but there was this girl grading it with her life so i decided to hit it up on the way out.
i love libraries :) if this whole youth ministry thing doesn't work out, my back up plan is a librarian.
which i'm sure it will work out.. but its always safe to have a plan B.
have to ever noticed how many times a post i say BUT. i have.
i know its annoying.. i can contradict everything i say. not to sound cocky,  but doesn't that just make me a good thinker? that i can see both sides..err however many sides there are to things.
any who..
time for me to go readers.

what's your plan B? 

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

sorry for the spelling errors.. no spell check :(

yes, i am aware of my absense.. but actually having a life for a few days kept me away for the monotone complaining i tend to bore you with.

let's just get right to the point:
I MET JOHN COOPER.. AGAIN. and it was beyond amazing! (i have a picture but i'm usign the schools computer right now)
the concert was intense. no flames.. but they still rocked my face off. out seats were kinda high(not floor seats) and one time when i was trying to head bang (i'm not very good) i almost fell on the people in front of us.
the losers i should say.
who the F goes to a rock concert and SITS DOWN! come on people. have some respect. if your that tired.. go ride the ferris wheel.
any who.. the whole experience was great. i haven't truely smiled that much in a long time.
went to a wedding literally right after that. well we drove to the beach and the next day went to a wedding. that was pretty fun.. idk. weddings make me apathatic. all i think about it the soaring devorice rate.. and the fact that the dude, or the women will cheat when they get tired of their significant other.
i'm happy for them but, you know. nothing lasts forever. sex, marriage, def not love.
i take that back. Jesus love lasts forever.

i'm at school now and i'm ready to crawl under a blanket and sleep like rip van winkle. isn't that the guy who slept for like a hundred years and woke up to a completely diffrent world? if that's not our boy rip..you get what i mean. just one more class.
then i have to go home and work on that essay that was due earlier..
procrastination will be the death of me.


p.s: this has no substance.. the rain has made me blah..
how does the rain make you feel?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

mid-term, missouri, and John Cooper

so i think i have found the easy, lazy american way to get out of this midterm.. drop the class! 
drop the class and take it over the summer. i was thinking of taking a class or two over the summer anyways because i have to have like 24 credits to be counted as a transfer student at Evangel. 
then on that same thought, i have been chewing over the idea of maybe trying to go to Evangel this spring semester.. maybe. i don't know. i'm just shooting around the dark here.. 
i'm so lost. 
ughh..
i'm always lost. 
i need a freaking road map for life. 
i said that as a Facebook status on time and one of my (smart aleck) friends replied "its called the bible" 
yes, i know that. but the bible doesn't spell out in black and white what God wants you to do for a college major.. that would be far to easy.
 yes. yes you do detect a bit of bitterness in that last bit. 
before i even graduated i wanted to run away and join the circus and forget college. thats starting to sound like a really good idea again. i could see myself selling popcorn to little brats and posing as the fattest women alive.
(and if you think about leaving a comment saying, emily your not fat! i will say something snide in reply back. nobody likes a suck up.. well.. ok sometimes its ok to be a suck up. but i know i'm not the fattest women alive... its ok for fat ppl to pick on themselves. now skinny ppl.. thats a whole different ball game.. ) 
any who... enough crazy talk. 
wait.. 
who's blog is this?
no crazy talk.. thats crazy talk! 


the skillet concert is, of course, friday!! and me and my friend Lizard made teeshirts today :) the other day John Cooper said something on his twitter about if your sick come to the fall tour because he was a dr. of rock... so our shirts say: 
(on the front) an apple a day keeps the doctor away.. (on the back) forget the apple, i came to see DR. ROCK 
be. jealous. 


so obviously, i'm in (some not creepy form of)  love with John Cooper.. 
who is your celeb crush? 

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

p.s answer my question!

my ears are sore. i put bigger gauges in and boy, i'm feeling it now. i'm at a size 4 :) it doesn't look as big as i thought it would, however, when compared to the regular hole, its pretty intense. 
check it out!! 




i have basically wasted the day away. 
i keep thinking about studying for that midterm, however, i haven't really accomplished much. i read over some stuff this morning, but i didn't get much further.
 i put a load of laundry in the washer, went to work, came home, got on the computer, ate, went to wal-mart, and now i'm back on the computer. where are my priorities??
not on my western civ exam thats fo sho! 


ever had those moments when your just like wtf just happened
i've been having those a lot lately. 
like when this drunk came into work today badgering me about fresh potato wedges then literally mid sentence just walked away. 
wtf?
or when you text this guy you like for something totally stupid  and you expect a super nice answer and you get some dip shit answer.
wtf?
maybe its me. maybe i just attract losers. people who don't call/text back. creepy people in wal-mart, and old men. its like i have a magnet planted in my head that they are drawn to. 
this thought pattern is depressing me. 
any who.. i have school tomorrow. that thought is finally refreshing. i can't get over how amazing it is to actually enjoy going to school. (with the exception of western civ of course)


what about you, where is somewhere refreshing you enjoy going? 


p.s: for those of you who read this.. if you haven't noticed, the past couple of post have ended with a question.. you could answer it. you know. if you feel so led :)  



Monday, October 10, 2011

speaking of..

i went to wal mart last night on a mission to get some much needed shampoo and conditioner. i got the shampoo and conditioner, and sweat pants, and Ben and Jerry's FroYo. 
geez one guy doesn't call me back and i have a meltdown. 
i jest, i jest. i didn't have a meltdown. i just really wanted  ice cream and the sweats are super comfy! 
it just ironically came to pass that i bought them on the same weekend that that one said guy didn't call me back. 
speaking of the opposite sex, i was telling my grandmaw about how when i sit there and think about boys it stressing me out and that i believe i spend to much of my time doing that. 
her reply was that it was natural at my age and that if i wasn't thinking about boys she would be concerned.
speaking of my grandmaw, i went to her house today to visit since it had been awhile. 
when i got there she was pulling weeds, talk about perfect timing. i helped her finish up and then she asked if i ever got the trash up out of my car ( that she bought me). i played around the question. 
yea, its not that bad right now. well long story short we picked the trash up, changed the seat covers, washed the floor mats, flushed and refilled the antifreeze, put oil in the.. wherever oil goes and we are still not done! myrtle needs a filter and power steering fluid AND the freaking tag needs to be updated. 
*if anybody rats me out to the cops i will hunt you down and destroy you* i'm working on it! 
i love my grandmaw. i'm sorta complaining because that wasn't exactly what i had in mind when i set out over there, but then again she's on top of it and gets things taken care of that i didn't even know needed taking care of. 
speaking of something else... the SKILLET concert is this friday and of course i'm attending :) 
words cannot express how excited i am! a few days a friend of mine asked me what songs i wanted them to play the most. thats not a fair question. i want them to play them all! muhaha. i'm a greedy panhead. 
if i had to pick one i think it would the the last night . its from the comatose album and holds a special place in my heart. it was basically my favorite song when i was going through my.. rough time or whatever the heck ya wanna call it. if you don't listen to Skillet, go now. if you don't like them, don't ever talk to me. it just won't work out. here's a video of skillet awesomness! p.s : John Cooper is my Justin Beiber.. so back off. 

Sunday, October 9, 2011

confessions (what's inside my head)

(for those of you who don't get the reference of the title, its a RED song. go listen to them. they are awesome! ) 


lately i have felt just .. blah. what else is knew? well i take that back, not really blah, more like.. frustrated. 
frustrated with me and my life. i have expressed this before and i will express it again. it seems like my life is stuck in slow motion while everybody else is going at the speed of light. 
you the saying "live everyday like its your last". yea, i'm def not doing that. i procrastinate to much, first off. 
i have no idea what i want to do with my life.. i know what i DON'T want to do. but that doesn't really help me pick a college major. 
also on the subject of my feelings.  i realized that i have this bad habit of being a liar. or something close to it. i often feel hypocritical. what do you mean? 
as you know, i'm a christian. i stand by my beliefs but, i feel like i make choices and do things sometimes that would make people think less of me. and thats where the lying comes in. i lie about the bad decisions and choices because i don't want people to think less of me. 
like.. when i cuss. most of the time it just slips out.. way to easily i might add. the other day i dropped the F bomb in front of my mom and i thought she was going to choke. 
and smoking is something else i've been dealing with lately. 
the first time i tried smoking i was sure i would never do it again. wrong. not saying that i'm addicted to cigarettes. but i kinda enjoy them every once in a while. (i probably shouldn't be confessing this, but i'm tired of feeling like i'm living two different lives) i enjoy mint. and cigarettes come in mint flavored. i kinda feel like Audrey Hepburn at times when the smoke lingers out of my mouth. i know its frowned upon, esp in my situation, but i have to say, honestly, i'm the kinda person who can take them or leave them. i've only bought on pack in my entire life. i usually bum them off people :) 
i think there comes a time in life when you have to establish who you are. i've been trying to do that for 18 years now and lately i feel like i'm failing. 
i enjoy some country music. there i said it. 
sometimes babies are cute.. i still don't want to squeeze one out of my secret place though. 
i like Starbucks. 
i like stretching my ears. 
and i like the blonde streak in my hair. 
i have been getting ragged about it lately and its pissing me off! its my freaking hair. and they are my ears. leave me alone. and i will more than likely get a tattoo in this lifetime, so go ahead and grab a barf bag. i try not to be an uptight person.. but being around stiffs all the time makes me anxious. i don't like being anxious. i like smiling and acting crazy. i can't do that when i don't feel like Emily. 


ever feel like that?