I have learned over the past several years ( because I'm so old and wise, I "know things" now) that life is constantly changing. Even if you live in the same dead beat town your whole life, you're always moving to a different stage of life. Sometimes it feels like you've leveled up, and sometimes it feels like you been sent to jail, not passing go, not collecting two hundred dollars. Sometimes you can't even collect two dollars.
I have also recently learned that you can want something so much you can taste it. And then you get it and it leaves a bitter taste in you mouth. You want to give it back and ask the waitress to bring you tea instead of coke. Well in life, a lot of times there is not waitress to change your order, so you have to sneak back to the kitchen and do it yourself. And then sometimes you get caught by the bus-boy and you have to choke down the coke for the time being.
Right now I'm at a stage in life where I'm trying to teach myself that sometimes you have to choke down the coke because you might like the taste eventually. Or it could be like beer and no matter how much you try to choke it down your stomach turns and you want to puke.
If you're wondering where all this is coming from...
I feel like school is kicking me in the butt right now... more like giving me a swirly in the boys bathroom.
My first big assignment in my English class was to write a paragraph. Just one paragraph. We worked on them in class, in the lab, and got help from the teacher. I had three drafts of this one stupid paragraph and I got a freaking C. I know it wasn't perfect, but I felt like my grade could've been a little better.
Not to mention the first quiz I got a D on. And how bad I'm doing in my math class...
I hate school.
I said I wanted to be a English teacher... Umm... Needless to say, I'm rethinking that.
I feel like giving up on school altogether.
But I've learned that that just makes it worse.
I'm choking down bad grades, a rough teacher, this semester, in hope that it will get better.