Wednesday, December 2, 2009

*may contain spelling errors!*

the wind is really bad out there, not sure if this is good or not but my house just might take flight.. lol.
 so today as well as all of this week sucked. fuck. is fucked. my eyes are tired my face is swelled and my gray hair is gleming.
idk. it feels like stress but i dont like to admit to stress because everyone is always "stressed". if people would chill the hell out we would all be ok. and lately i feel anything but chill and ok. im never ok. never.
me me me. selfish, worthless, concetied me.  two of those adjectives were outside opions.. i promise.

its lame to go on and on about this shit i know.. but i just cant take it anymore. there are not enough pills to ease the pain and not enough sleep to take me away.
as much i want to i havent went back to old habits.. not yet anyway.. its getting harder and harder to say no to that sudective silver devil.

ive been reading ellen hopkins new book "tricks". its about prositution. and ive learned that sex is gross. like i seriously dont want anyone near my equipment.  :) unless of course mr. right comes along.. but who am i kidding, they all suck. and im not speaking just figuaritvly. but i feel bad for the people in the book. i just wanna wrap them in a hug and take them bowling. lol. something fun.
see people im not always a cold bitch. ... but i did just reach out kindness to fake personals.. wow. im crazy. and you can quote me on that.. i dont care.

im getting tired now. my brain had been racking all day.. and i still have three sheets to fold. ughh. curse the stupid sheets!! i dont wanna go to school tomorrow. i hate that place.. to many people. to many distractions.

one puff 
two cuts
three pills

life is not a thrill 
get real.
upside down
over and out
what we feel is
nothing real.

take and breath
and close my eyes
away from this world i fly.
up above the world so high
like a liar in the sky.

one puff
two cuts
three pills

figuarativly speaking of course... :)

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