today is dec 21! wtf?

So the other day i hopped on here and was going to write this long post and now i cant even remember what is was going to say... (that happens a lot)

on dec. 19 i was writting in my journal and i was just kinda shitting around with this line i had in my head...
its not really that good i dont think.. kinda lame.. but im going to post it anyway and i trust you'll give my feed back.


Cut
Shut
Your eyes
And let the poison set in
Blood boils as heat sets in
Troubles will remain
Visable forever
Cut
Shut
Your heart
And let the hate flow
Skin Crawls as sinister words flow out
Cut
Shut
The life support

it might could be something if i did some work to it.. but i will save that for another day.

So i was going through the journal i have now the other day i got this wave of rage run through me. It was like some demonic force.. lol. I got mad cause I started thinking about my blue notebook. My notebook. The one that was almost finished! The one that had some much shit in it. Carried my life on the lines my blood (litterally), dreams, nightmares, thoughts, everything. I guess it doesn't really make since getting upset about.. but god! my freakig notebook. I let my freakig guard down and let some dummy tell me to get rid of it.. that the stuff in it was no good for me.. well all the stuff in there was me!
K. I can't dwell on that now.. no need to get even more upset.

Right now I'm not really upset I just don't feel that good.

OMG!! I almost forgot to inform you. I got this brochure from Berklee advertising their summer programs.. and they have a vocal summit. Its expensive as hell. But I was telling grandma about it and she said if i can raise some of the money she'll help me out with the rest :) OMFG!
I was telling my mom about it and how I was really serious about wanting to go. She basically told me I couldn't go because I'm not an "entertainer" in my coummunity. Which is bull shit. I have as much a shot as anyone else. Nicole got one to so I am goig to try to convince her to go to.
Not going to get my hopes up real high, but at least this is startig to look a little more realistic :)