Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas??

"there singing deck the halls, but its not like christmas at all. i remember when you were here and all the fun we has last year.."

love love love that song.

Christmas has come but its not gone yet. The joy of the jolly season is not preasent for me this year. I have a gratefull spirit but I can say I'd rather be elsewhere. Somewhere far away.

I got a wii :)
Really kickass jewerly.
A notebook.
and some other things that i cant think of at the moment. Christmas waspretty good.

Tomorrow we will have Christmas at my grandmaws. Im so excited for that :)

This year has been so messy and shitty...
Im ready for a new start..
Hopefully I wont screw it up. And if i do... story of my life.

Ive been thinking so much about my mema this year. and my grandpa. i feel as if i have all these repressed memories. like things i think i remember but maybe not.. its very frustrating.
i wanna bring it up but i swear when i see my mom cry it makes me want to throw up.

I have these morbid thoughts of my grandmaw dying and when i think of that it makes me so frazzeled..
i just try not to think about that.. to much to bear.

ok not going there..

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