Monday, May 11, 2009

from time to time... i sit and stare out the window and wait for something to happen. i daydream... i put together scenes that one day i might put in my book.. or not. sometimes when i stare out the window i have my ipod in.. ok most of the time i have my ipod in. i listen to the music and imagine myself in the crowd or up on stage.. do you ever do that? .. i think of people and what i want to say to them or what i want them to say to me.. have any of these daydreams came true?... no. but i can still hope and still hold them there. ... most of the time in my mind i am in control.. i can control my environment.. most of the time. .. sometimes not.. sometimes i just wish there were no more people.. cause where there are people there are problems. big problems. ..with problems come frustration.. some people shut down.. or freak out....sometimes when i am having a bad day and the right person says the wrong thing.. i snap! ... i have had several outburst this year.. but shh. .. if i was calm and put together... things would be all to calm and dull. .. that what makes us us.. or me me and you you. ..thank God i am not you and our are not me. ... that would be all to awkward. .sometimes when i think i think of where i will be in 10-12 years... in a loft in NYC.. ocean front on the coast of FL.. of possibly in the dazzling lights of Paris.. and sometimes i think of where the people around me will be.. rocking on stage... flipping burgers.. that i will purposely order complicatedly. . working at a doctors office with a very made up and oh so fake smile :) ... or in the slums with all the weed in the world! ... aim high rockingham! ...sometimes when i think.. i think of sleeping for forever... so i will start now.. but end in the morning.. until next time.. when my head is full of thoughts.

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