"you thought here"

i really have a lot of things i need to be doing..
and i had this really awesome post but thanks to Jeffrey i lost my train of thought and now this post will be a rambler! as always.

lately i have been feeling.. very ... well like i was before i snapped!
the sinking feeling. i always want to sleep! i absolutely just crave to lie down and think. just to send myself far away where i can gain so since of control.

tears come and i have skilled myself to turn them around and let them trickle back into my inner being. but whatever right? everybody cries at some point and time.. i guess. but it makes me feel weak at times like i can't hold the wall up that day. can't let people see you when your down.. well you can let them see you just can't let them in. cause once there in! you are screwed.

this sounds dramatic but i don't care this is my blog and these are my thoughts. as my fingers fidget over the keys i conjure up tons of times that i have made me cry, made me think less of myself. I'm not always always dominated by the bad memories. the good ones are there. but like a beautiful black and white photo that you never touch cause its just to precious.