yo mommma.

I'm sitting here.. bored. flipping my hair around, eating mint chocolate cookies and listening to halestorm. well now i guess I'm not too bored.

so much has been going through my head lately i can't contain it all. but i don't really have anywhere for it to go.. so i guess I'm stuck with all the crap in my head. if that makes since. it doesn't really but whatever.. for the one person that reads this is OK. i.e me.
as you should know my parents have split and at first it didn't seem like it would be bad, but alas! my parents did make it terrible. my dad is a lying, cheating loser.. in every since of the words. and my poor mom she is just lost and confused and hurt, but that doesn't she is innocent.. it never does.
i started smoking, but it gave me headaches so i stopped. I'm to poor to smoke anyway. ha ha!
lately i have been feeling really really shitty, for lack of better word. i could feel myself falling, fast, back to that place of darkness. where the light doesn't exist and misery is always in control. but luckily God is on my side! he's once again pulled me from the depths of myself, i just have to keep myself on top of things. i had a thought today: what if i put a little more focus on other people and not just me. BAM!! christian moment :) I'm putting a lot of focus on school right now. which i am so excited for. I'm ready to graduate and go to college. i just don't know where to go. i still really want to go to Evangel, however, i am also considering Western Carolina. the thing is if i go to western i can go after graduating, but if i go to Evangel I'd have to wait a year and prepare to go out there. I'm ready to  "go at the seat of my pants" as mother says, but i don't know where.
anywho.. I'll figure it out somehow.
cutting this short now.. well cutting off. updates again soon :)