i can feel it again, rising up from my core..
that bad feeling of being alone, and useless. where everything is coming at me at once and i just know I'm not going to be able to handle it.
i hate to admit that I'm jealous.. but i am jealous of every body's happiness. its not fair that everyone around me has things together, and i cant hold on to anything. the smug smile's on their faces makes me want to puke. it strikes the rage i tried to bury but it comes up all the time now. boiling and ready to spew! i cant take it out on anybody but myself and that's not good. "not healthy" is probably the better term.
i don't want people to feel sorry for me, that just makes things worse.
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