Does Mother Nature have a period?

I just want to rip my hair out of my head, punch something, and scream at the top of my lungs. 

Ladies, can we please talk, for just a second, about how annoy it is that for the week or so before your period, and you feel like a raging lunatic?! Or is it just me? And then it finally hits you and you kinda mellow out, but your insides are being ripped and crushed my some invisible evil. 
Mother Nature sure is a *#$^!. 
But, we already knew all that, didn't we? 

Obviously I am enduring this week before, which has gotten worse for me since I've gotten older. ( I really need to see a doctor, huh? For mine and Israel's sake. ) 
I just feel like I wanna snap on anything or anybody who crosses my path. The other day this girl looked at me, literally all this poor girl did was LOOK at me, and I turned into the Hulk. Umm excuse me, please so not look at me like that. Would you like me to push you down the stairs?? Also, your haircut makes your head look big. 

 I hate being a woman. 

I am up this late because I am throwing a party for my friend tomorrow; she is 9 years cancer free!! Whoo-hoo! Totally something worth celebrating in my book. I am trying to get my house in order for the event, but I need to take a second and breath before I smashed all the dishes. 

I feel like I have been running around in endless circles (is that too repetitive?) for months now. My brain is fried. Today I skipped not one but two classes, and I feel no guilt. I actually had a couple of hours where I vegged, and when I caught myself I felt guilty for some unbeknownst reason. This semester cannot end sooner. Just one more week of classes, and then exams, and I am home free! Until January, where I have a 9 a..m  spanish. It literally never ends. 

This song just came on my Spotify; it's one of my favorites. I will leave you with this soulful piece, since I killed you with my hormonal outrage :p 

Oh, So You're In Love?

Let's just be real for a second.. just one second. 

If you've been dating a week, you do not love that person. You like them a lot and have those intense stomach butterflies that make you wanna puke.

 Trust me, I know what that's like. (I can testify to these things now!) 

I know this is becoming a pretty common complaint, but it's driving me nuts how people on facebook are like: "i love you baby, ur my whole world. idk what id do w/o u. *insert date*" 

Over the past couple of weeks, I've had to restrain myself from making snide comments because I didn't want to start a fight. But, trust me, I know I'm right. If you've been dating a less than a month and you're already claiming that person is "your world" you need help. and Jesus. He's your world. 

When I first told Israel I loved him, I felt like I was going to puke. (of course this is also part of my personality, I don't just go around loving everybody) And let the record show it was like two months after we started dating. I didn't fall in love with him and confess it until like 3 or 4 months. And even then I was thinking I was rushing into things. 

Being with Israel has been the first and longest relationship I've ever had and I'm not terribly ashamed to admit that because I don't have this horrid track record of guys who did me wrong. With that said, I don't know a lot about relationships from a personal experience, but I've witnessed a lot and seen enough lifetime movies to know what works and what doesn't work. Such as, overusing the L word. 

And most of the time people (especially us young whippersnappers with raging hormones) mix up the L words Love and Lust. And that's another post for another day. 

Dating a week= you do not love that person. You have intense butterflies and chances are you just like having sex with them. 

"Don't have sex, you will get pregnant and die" - Mean Girls. 

Me, VHS, & a..... Hooker

"Oh, hello. I didn't see you there"

Could there be a more non-natural way to start off a tv segment? 

No.  There cannot be. 

It's been a few days since I graced you with my witty and otherwise not very remarkable internet presence. Over the course of my absence not too many life changing events happened, so don't worry.

To catch you up a little: 

-Last weekend I went to Charleston/ Folly Beach for the first time (I plan to go back). I have family down there... not to mention Charleston is busting at the seams with life, culture, art, history, beauty, and this free sample dessert that was to die for. I almost fell over in the shoppe, literally. (Mostly because of the heat....) 

- This weekend I will be having a Girls retreat at the beach with my bestest gal pals.. well most of them. 

- Yesterday I went thrift store shopping with my boyfriend and I got Grease and Shakespeare in Love for $2!! (VHS, but hey! awesome movies.. and I still have a WHS player) 

-Also this weekend with said boyfriend we built a fort in his living room and watched movies. Yes, I said fort. It was awesome!  On pintrest I found these "date night ideas". Most of them are stay at home (a.ka CHEAP ideas. Which is great when your broker than a one legged hooker).

-Today I am going to see "Magic Mike" with two gal pals. Thinking about it, I sorta feel guilty because its Sunday.. Then I dismissed that thought because I don't wanna talk myself out of it. 

Now I'm on a roll and could keep going, but food is ready and I'm hungry. 

mean reds- mermaid style

i got a case of the mean reds. 
and if you don't know what that means, get off this blog right now! i'm ashamed of you. 
the mean reds isn't like the blues, that when your just sad, the mean reds is when your suddenly afraid and you don't know what your afraid of. 


(go watch Breakfast at Tiffany's)


i find that i end up like this a lot. the worst part is the sudden part. 


i can't sleep and i feel like poop. probably because i'm on my stupid period because i was born as a stupid girl. i hate being a girl.. not that i have a wish to be a boy either...maybe a fish, a bird, or maybe a mermaid. 


i could be a mermaid. swim around in the ocean with my fishy friends in my seashell bra and always gorgeous hair flowing behind me. and unlike ariel i have no desire to walk up where they run, up where they stay all day in the sun, wondering free, i don't wish i could be part of this world. 


when i grow up i want to be a mermaid. case closed. 

V-CARD

"Dont have sex, you will get pregnant, and DIE!" -coach from Mean Girls 

If you know me outside of this blog, or even inside this blog, you are well aware that I am not to found of babies, nor do I have a desire to have one of my own. Having said that, it should be no big surprise when I say the very thought of getting pregnant scares the hell out of me.  

Now let's jump back to sixth grade health class. Those horrible images of pubic hair morphing in still haunt me to this day. But in that class I learned a very valuable lesson. 

IF YOU HAVE SEX YOU WILL GET PREGNANT AND DIE! 

translation: if you have sex you can get pregnant!! 

This very reason, along with the sheer fact that I'm just not ready to "give it up" is why I have not yet had sex. I, Emily Michelle Greene, am still a virgin. 

Your probably wondering "where the heck is all this coming from?"

Ever since I starting dating my wonderful boyfriend I have been bombarded with "concerns" from people who just want me to "do the right thing". 

I'm sorry, the last time I checked, I could cloth myself, dress myself, drive a car, pay taxes, and wipe my own butt. I think I'm perfectly capable of make other PERSONAL big girl decisions on my own. 

If and When I decide upon those things, it should be nobody else's business, except my partner. Not your bothers sisters cousins friend who knows a guy who knows another guy who has this friend who knows this guys cousins sisters boyfriends baby daddy's. 

For all you "concerned" citizens of my sex life (in this case, my non-exsistent sex life), please back off. 

Hairy Situation

With not working much and not being in school right now, I have a lot of time to sit on my butt and not do much.

I mean I guess I could clean, give back to the community, or ... 

God help me, EXERCISE. 

yea.. or maybe not. 

Today was one of those days when I woke up and did not like what was staring back at me in the mirror. 

Regardless of the fact that my physical appearance sucked! ( breakouts, frizzy hair, bags under my eyes, eye buggers.. and so on.. ) 

I also have the heavy failure feeling drooping on my shoulders. Sitting around looking like a bum, I felt like a bum. Finally about two o'clock I looked myself in the eye and said "take a shower you smelly bum".

After my self- motivational speech I made it to the shower. Once I got in the shower my next thought was 

"humm I should probably shave while I'm in here" 

OMG WHY DO WOMEN HAVE TO SHAVE SO MUCH?!!

It a twenty minute attempt to de-hair myself. Not to mention the next 15 minutes it took to wash my hair, face, and body.  When I got out I noticed that I missed like half the bak of my thunder thighs and cut myself in like three places. It would have been easier to go to a butcher... well ok, maybe not. 

Usually after a shower I feel relaxed and less bum-ish looking.. not today. 

I was so frustrated after I got out the only thing I could do was cry. 

Ok, I didn't cry.. 

but I did use my good lotion and spent another twenty minutes on my hair and make-up.. which did make me feel a little better about myself. 

better late than never?

so today classes started back! i feel smarter already. 
however.. it was hardly sailing smooth. 
as if waking up on monday at 7:30 A.M (which is really cutting it close, i should be getting up earlier) isn't bad enough, running late is. 
running late is pretty bad, but having a decent hair day makes up for that, right? you just plan to drive a little faster, right? ok, that's fine and dandy. BUT when you are running late with a decent hair day and you walk outside to find it raining.. that's when it gets bad. 
and of course it gets worse. i get to school 5 minutes late, only to find that i have to drive all around the world to find a parking spot. i finally found one in Egypt. being late is even worse than bad enough.. try being fat and running up a hill and a flight of stairs, now it's kinda terrible. 
so my kinda terrible morning is in full swing and i'm standing outside my first class, that i'm TEN MINUTES LATE to. i'm creeping in the window taking in the twenty five people who made in to class on time and the teacher going over the syllabi. having a heated debate with myself: to go in, or no to go in, that is the question. 
i bit the bullet and went in. a little tap tap on the door and every single head looked at me. the teacher didn't stop talking and of course the only empty chairs were in the back of the freaking classroom! 
"oooo the who-manity" (the grinch, anybody?) i'm glad i didn't eat breakfast because i probably would've thrown up all over the sour puss next to me. and she would have deserved it because when i sat down she acted as if the scum of the earth just kissed her. geez girl, get over it. i was late. i don't have the chicken pox. 


"you get smarter everyday" - Professor Danley 
i hope she's right ;) 

i'm pregnant

i feel a bit sad, not gonna lie. 
it's friday night.. and i'm sitting home on the couch, in my sweats, with my mom watching tv. 
wow. living it up big time. 
i kinda sorta thought i was gonna hang with my best friend, but know.. she ran off into the sunset with her husband. story of my life. 
boo hoo. woe is me.
i think every person deserves a moment like this is their life. yes, i take hold of them a lot, but that's a different story for a different day. 


a story for today... 
ahh ok!
so: 
in my world religions class today  there is this kinda weird black girl and towards the end of class she blurts out.. 
B.G: mr. hairr what time is it? 
M.H: 10:36... were you wanting it to be 10:50 already?
B.G: yea.. i'm really upset and i can't focus. 
M.H: well if your that upset you can go ahead and go, i won't keep you
B.G: i can go? *M.H nods his head* thanks, i'm just really upset. i'm pregnant.
and then she freaking walks out of class!! 
it was the crazy. after she left the whole class busted out laughing. not because she's prego, but because of the way it all happened. it was like, WTF just happened? 
i love college :) 

webcam creeepin

never-mind.

 i had this whole rant i was going to go on about how my life sucks right now and how its really bringing me down. but what else is new?

today is not going to bring me down! 

i will put on a  good song and jam it out. 

i'm sitting in the student center trying to figure out how the roman republic fell. i hate history as of right now. there is a reason its in the past. just let it be! 

why don't they educate us on whats going on in the world now! honestly, i have no idea whats going on. other than the fact that everything is too expensive. 

please excuse the girl in the background.. she probably saw the webcam flash and thought i was creepin'. lol! yes, i know i'm so weird. 

but i wanted to prove to you that i was actually studying.. and drinking a Starbucks energy drink. and listening to music. i am a good muti-tasker. 

plus they say photos on your blog produces more traffic! 

Confession #1

i try not to confess things.. it makes me feel to vulnerable. however, i will confess this:

 i want to be interesting.

does that seem vague, or just stupid to you? if it seems stupid, go stick it where the sun don't shine. if its vague, what i mean is i want creativity and passion to run my life. i don't wanna be in the same place my whole life. i want  to do all kinds of things ( job wise and recreational), taste things, see things, travel, write, read, swim, fly.. everything. except roller coasters! and maybe snakes. i wanna drink wine on my patio overlooking the city while i read a great book. travel around the world, hell i love traveling across the USA. that is one thing that excites me about going to Missouri.

this little job i have snagged ( see previous post) i believe will give me a few inches of freedom and responsibility. all of which i am excited for.

and if you are wondering "where the heck did this come from?"

good question!

i am reading this book " The Disorder of Longing" and so far its pretty good. the main character, Ada, has qualities that i totally can connect with. however, it takes place in the late 1800's and her spirit is being imprisoned by society and her husband. there are some things that really ruffle my feathers but, i have a feeling in the end it will all work out to her advantage.( hopefully along the lines similar to A Doll's House, where at the end she just leaves and shuts the door behind her! go Nora :) in the first chapter of the book Ada wakes up and goes for a stroll all by her self, which is what she wanted, and she got in trouble by the staff in her own home and her husband. yes i know that's how things were back then, but its no excuse. i have this quote on my wall that i love:

"your left hand loves candlelight. your right hand loves the spotlight. your left hand declares commitment. your right hand declares independence. women of the world raise your right hand"

where am i going with all this? 

quite frankly, i have no idea. i just woke from a nap and wanted to finish this ( i started yesterday) and now i'm at a loss. 

i think my whole point is i just want my life to have substance. not just a run of the mill life. if i want to take a stroll all by my loan-some i shall walk. God made this world too big and beautiful for us to not enjoy it and take advantage of it. 

Trust No One

"i like her as a friend, but not like that."

" oh shit."

You may or may not be wondering how those two quotes are related. If you are, I can tell you that what you are thinking is wrong. Those two phrases single handily ruined my life.. err my love life anyways. ( you know the non existent one) As I talk about this I feel the depressing anxiety rising up in my chest.

The first one was from a boy who was my first and biggest crush ever. besides John Cooper but that really will never happen because he is married.. anyways! I liked him so much I was sure he liked me and one day I made the mistake of telling one of my girl friends. (BAD MOVE) She was in band with him and somehow I came up in conversation so, she decided to tell him I liked him. He answered her with that. I was so pissed at her I couldn't see straight. This happened is 8th grade by the way. Not only were my insecurities of liking a boy on the table, now my doubts were confirmed and I knew I had no chance with him. ( Being fat and in middle school as a girl is hard enough, throw a boy in there and it makes everything worse.) So needless to say nothing ever came from that. I had heard that phrase before countless times but when its directed at you its like a boulder falling on you. This boy and I are not friends and when I see him I still freak out.

The second phrase ( I really don't think this is safe but it might as well be told) came from my friend. Literally, he was like my best friend. I always liked him a little and our families always picked on us about being a couple. Well in ninth grade my friend Rachel convinced me to tell him how I felt. I finally had texting so I sent the text and it wasn't just a simple text saying "i lik u" it was some freaking rant about love! I'm so ashamed of myself. So I sent the text and he replied with that. I cried and that was the beginning to the rocky-ist friendship on the face of this earth. And here's the best part I found out later that he was/is gay. Yep. Just keeps getting better. It hurt my feelings so bad. "Hurt" I use loosely cause it really scared me for life.

That's why I have issues with boys and that's why I will never admit to anybody when I like somebody. I get so weird about it. It drives me nuts. The fear and anxiety I get thinking about hearing any of those words again just makes me want to die. Add that on top of all the other issues I have and you get a nut job!
I had more things I was going to say but now the thoughts escape me. Its early in the day.. I'm sure I'll be back later to write something else.