V-CARD

"Dont have sex, you will get pregnant, and DIE!" -coach from Mean Girls 

If you know me outside of this blog, or even inside this blog, you are well aware that I am not to found of babies, nor do I have a desire to have one of my own. Having said that, it should be no big surprise when I say the very thought of getting pregnant scares the hell out of me.  

Now let's jump back to sixth grade health class. Those horrible images of pubic hair morphing in still haunt me to this day. But in that class I learned a very valuable lesson. 

IF YOU HAVE SEX YOU WILL GET PREGNANT AND DIE! 

translation: if you have sex you can get pregnant!! 

This very reason, along with the sheer fact that I'm just not ready to "give it up" is why I have not yet had sex. I, Emily Michelle Greene, am still a virgin. 

Your probably wondering "where the heck is all this coming from?"

Ever since I starting dating my wonderful boyfriend I have been bombarded with "concerns" from people who just want me to "do the right thing". 

I'm sorry, the last time I checked, I could cloth myself, dress myself, drive a car, pay taxes, and wipe my own butt. I think I'm perfectly capable of make other PERSONAL big girl decisions on my own. 

If and When I decide upon those things, it should be nobody else's business, except my partner. Not your bothers sisters cousins friend who knows a guy who knows another guy who has this friend who knows this guys cousins sisters boyfriends baby daddy's. 

For all you "concerned" citizens of my sex life (in this case, my non-exsistent sex life), please back off. 

i'm not doing my homework

To the eight people out there that read this.. thank you. i feel like i don't say that enough. 


and when i'm not doing my homework (accepting the fact that i'm going to take a bad grade) by goofing off, reading blogs about cats and fashion... you are feeding that fire. thank you. 
now you feel bad because i'm going to get a bad grade... or maybe you feel disappointed in me because of my lack of motivation. 
don't. 
it's my own fault. and i have good reason...


this is my homework...


there is a painting of some dude painting ( yes a painting of somebody painting!) the virgin mary nursing baby Jesus... why?!!? why does this exist?!!!
In general, how would you use these images as evidence of the worldview of the fifteenth century? What do they tell us about people's attitudes, emotions, and values? 
What?! 
well apparently the worldview of the 15th century is warped! i don't know. and i kinda don't care. the thought of babies being nursed makes me queasy... then put Jesus in that equation and now I'm just beyond uncomfortable. Plus I didn't even read the chapter, so I have no idea what's going on in 15th century art. And what the heck is a motif? 

Saint Luke drawing the portrait of the Virgin

i'm dropping out of college and joining the circus. i'm serious. 

i hate growing up

"I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare. I'm just a kid, I know that it's not fair." - Simple Plan 

When exactly do you stop being considered a kid? 
12, when you're not supposed to order off the kids menu anymore? 
16, when you start driving?
18, when you are "legal"?
21, when you can buy booze?
When you stop sitting at the kids table at family dinners? 
When you have kids yourself? 


I've knocked the first three off my list ( even though I still eat off the kids menu sometimes), but sometimes I still feel like a little kid. When kids are little all they..err.. we... dream of is growing up.
Driving, making money, not having so much authority to answer to. Only once we get "grown up" ourselves we realize that all the money we make on our own goes into the car so that we can drive. And the authority we answer to are fat white people on capitol hill, who take the rest of the money we make, that's not in the gas tank.
Can I get an AMEN?! 
I'm not even at full "grown up" status and I'm ready to book it back to the kids table.
Mostly because all my money is in the gas tank, I've realized that I hate making my own decisions, I still can't have booze, and I'm terrified to have my own children. 


Let me back track... Sometimes I like making my own decisions. But when it comes to the big stuff like college or a job or life choices, I secretly think it would be easier if I had somebody to tell me what to do.


All this was inspired from listening to Simple Plan's "Grow up". Thanks, Simple Plan for depressing me on growing up. I got to thinking about how much things really suck now that I'm more aware of the world I live in. And yesterday I had the quick thought that I was going to run out of time. Like now that I am growing up and I've realized there are so many things I'd like to do and accomplished, I may not get the chance to do everything. 
I quickly put that thought away... 

this post is about a baby.. sorta...

it's sunday sunday sunday!
food is cooking, football is on, and.. my cousin smells weird. he was outside playing football.

culprit of the stink

Christmas is days away... just to state the obvious. every body else is talking about it, i figured i might as well go along with the crowd. It doesn't feel like Christmas. I feel like Cindy Lou Who, from the Grinch. I can hardly remember what Christmas "feels" like. Is there such a thing? "feeling" Christmas. I'm just ready to get it over with.

Last night my family had the annual Chinese Christmas party. We all get together and play the game, eat and be marry. Its a good time and the best part is, you leave with a present. as silly as the gift could be, (Christmas cookies and cookie cutters) it still counts as a present. and yes, yours truly left with the Christmas cookie cutters and a complementary bag of sugar cookie mix. I do look forward to this family function every year. ( shh, it's our little secret. i would't want to ruin my image*)
last night was pretty special too.. so you know how i have this thing about babies.. you know they scare the hell out of me thing.
well my cousin has this baby(which i accidentally called "thing" around the baby daddy.. whoops!).. cutest thing.. and i don't know what possessed me, but i held the baby. i was so scared she was going to cry, i'm not even gonna lie. but to my surprise she didn't. she laid her head down on me and was attempting a cat nap. she eventually was whisked off to bed. neither of us cried, that was amazing.
i have a picture that i will post later... it's on my facebook if you wanna go check it out :)

Lifetime movie

So I'm just chilling in bed watching this lifetime movie... I'm not even sure what the name is. It's a web of lies, that what it should be called.. web of lies!! With dramatic music playing and a black backdrop.
This dude meets a pretty lady, charms the pants off of her and then disappears. He does this several times, then asks her to marry him. So she says yes, he takes off again.. and bam! He's married to another pretty lady and he has kids!! Omg! So he fakes his death and runs back to lady with charmed off pants! And now he's robbing people left and right to get money, had another kid, and pretty lady #2 is onto him!
It's so intense... I hope I don't fall asleep :)

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babies are scary!

Yes indeed. There is a baby in front if me and its scary. I don't speak gibberish.. sometimes it can seem that way but rest assured I'm not fluent.
So tomorrow I leave on one of the biggest adventures of my life.. I'm going to Missouri! Why Missouri you may ask. Good question. I can't tell you how many times I've asked myself that. The school I've allowed my heart to set on is there. Evangel university. If I had been doing this last week I would have had plenty of great things to say... but my spirits have been depressed by the money monster. I won't go there.. its too ugly. However I have hope that everything will work out. Just have to keep the faith..
Sometimes that seems like the hardest thing to do.

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