Emily and TIm sitting on the couch, B-l-o-g-g-i-n-g

guess what! 

I'm blogging in my apartment on Tim! 

say what? like you got wifi hooked up already? 

no silly, i can access somebody else's network on Tim without a password! 

isn't that stealing?

um... well technically, probably yes. but for now lets just look at this as a blessing. I mean I can't help it if somebody else's wifi signal is all up in my grill and me and Tim just happen to take advantage of it. 

i figured this out yesterday.. i was going to blog about it when i found out but then i had to go to work and then after work i had this party thing to attend so.. i held off. 

i don't have to be at work until two today but my body is programmed now to get up and 9:30 so thats when i got up. i laid there trying to go back to sleep but it just wasn't working.. so i got up, did my bathroom rituals and now here i am. 

i started another story yesterday at work. i once heard that good writers are inspired by everything and when you get an idea you should write in down. on napkins, scrap paper.. some people keep little notepads with them. well i've had this idea in my head for a while. and every time i try to do something with it it turns out completely different. like the last story i wrote.. which i never finished BTW.  but this one i had a few sentences  i was just playing with in my head and standing around at work i decided to write them down before i forgot them. then i kept going and going. i had three ticket backs full when i left work. i like my start.. for now. i don't know how much of it is gold but we'll see. i finally have an idea i like! which inspires me. i really want to take a writing class. i need to look into that for next semester! 

i'm inspired by a lot of things ( not to sound cocky). what about you, what inspires you? 

passionate arsonist

ugghghghghghgg!!!
arrgg!!
blah blah blah..
jklsdfjklsdfjklklsdfjfrjksdfniovndfonsdvfnsdjiofwelkfnmsdjklvnasdmlcnasdjoasdm,fn scn

this is what i think and feel like as of right now.
i can come up with one particular reasons as to why i wanna pull my hair out and go arsonist on old buildings.
i know its not my period talking because that's over with and its not my lack of job ( because i have one now! )  its..well idk. i'm just frustrated with me i guess. and no this has nothing to do with a boy.. well ok that's a little bit of it. but that the one you're thinking of i assure you.

i'm still reading that book "The Disorder of Longing" and passion is a theme. having passion for life and love (sex) you know was basically forbidden for women in the late 1800's so Ada is just trapped in her lust for passion and she's drowning. I  don't feel like i'm drowning.. i just feel like there is still something missing. not like the lack of higher being love.. something i can't put my finger on yet.. that frustrates me. i feel like i got a good step into the real world but when does life being? when do you actually feel like your living?
is it when you basically sell your soul to the devil by getting married?
when you pop out a kid or five from said marriage?
when you work a dead beat 9-5 job?
( if this describes you, and offends you sorry..)
you get the point right?
same ole, same ole doesn't cut it.
when?
where?
how?
who?
what?!
passionate