Life Goes On

I have become so obsessed with youtube, facebook, and instagram.. oh and pinterest, that i have totally forgotten to write about my life. Which, in your case my be a good thing. 


October is nipping at my heels and there is still so much to do for the marriage celebration! Decorations, flowers, hair, finding the right bra, shoes! In the mix of planning, praying, and trying to force myself to not drink another glass of coke, I am going through the growing pains of becoming the person I never expected to be at this point. 
I am 20 years old, getting married, and I have a cat!! Yes, a cat, named Oliver. (He's a rescue and he is a nice cat, who recently got a bow tie and looks adorable!) 
Panning out my own life is a struggle sometimes, trying to pan it out, plan, look into the future with somebody else requires more than writing out your feelings on the internet.  On one hand it's not so bad because my best friend will always be there with me, but on the other hand, it's dooming because you feel like if you go down, you are taking that other person with you. 
I never thought I'd be here. Of course, we all can say that about some point in our lives. I feel like the decisions that I have made lately will take me on a course that I never dreamed of. Which is not bad. It seems scary and I'm scared of crashing to my death, but just before I hit the rocks, God picks me up again. I am trusting in him to make my life something beautiful. 
To be honest, I have a fear of my life, my story being boring, pointless, but I pray everyday that that doesn't happen. Getting married is a huge milestone for anybody; but for me I had, at one time, a notion that it would hold me back, that my life would just stop and everything I wanted for me would never happen. But I have spent time and time again with God pouring my heart out, telling him my fears, asking for help, and I am ready to spend my life with Israel. We aren't perfect, but we aren't alone. All of the things I wanted for me I can have with him and together, we can experience so much more. 

*hands out tissues* *steps off of pulpit* 

there is a funny cat pic enclosed

Believe it or not there are times when I look in the mirror and I actually like the person staring back. 

There are times when its the end of the day and I'm reflecting, I actually smile and find a lot of things to be thankful for. 

This morning we woke and drove down to the beach to pick up the bridal party dresses for my sister's wedding. Thank God, the dresses fit everybody, however, some of the girls have to have them taken in. Which sounds good, but we have to have them taken in in the chest and depending on how you look at that... it could be seen as a bad thing. I can fit three times the amount of my actual chest in the dress as it stands now, so for me, it's a bit depressing. 

Any who...

At the beach, I can breathe in the salty ocean air and feel the anxiety that harbors in my chest start to fade away. If the circus doesn't work out, the beach is my next destination of choice. 

When I say the beach, unless I specify, I mean Myrtle Beach. And usually the water is dark and brown, but this trip the water was clear and that peaceful blue-green. 

And I just got distracted by something on tv and lost my whole train of thought on where I was going with this... 

The sun, the sand.. it was great. and this makes no since..

WAFFLES!