Cher the love

I love Cher. I pride myself on the fact that I may be her youngest fan.
If I could get my butt out to Vegas to see her show I would be there tonight! But sadly that won't happen for a very long long time. Hopefully she's alive when this can come to pass. Don't die on me Cher, I'm coming!

I was having a really sucky morning (see previous post) then my friend was listening to music and started talking about a wedding song. And that reminded me that if I ever take that low blow of marriage I'm going to play the song "I got you babe". It always makes me feel better. As do most of her songs. 
Some of my favorite include:
Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves
Dark Lady
If I could Turn Back Time
I Got You Babe
The Beat Goes On
Half Breed

(my mom had the greatest hits album.. I took it over.. so basically that is what started all this) 

When I watched the movie Burlesque.. I was like a teenage boy, drooling at the TV screen. Laugh if you want.. I'm used to it.  By the way that was a beast movie!

Check it out and go listen to Cher! Now!

Warning: depressed rant!

today i question my self worth.. not like "to be or not to be" .. what i mean is that all this petty drama taking place in my life, when does it end? will the madness ever stop? when does it cross the line at petty into down right dangerous. 

by petty drama i mean when will my mother get over the fact that her and my dad are no longer together? why can't she work out her issues and move on? why does she have to bring me down with her? so many more question i could ask but for these i have no answers. I'm all cried out. i can only wear a tired expression. simply because i am tired. I'm tired of all the frustration. .  this may not seem petty but to me, in this situation, you'd think if you weren't happy and you got the chance to start over you would seize the opportunity and create a whole new world for yourself, instead of bringing all your dirty garbage into a new house. (literally!) 

Where is this coming from, you ask? Maybe your not ever asking that. Don't you just love how I assume that you care about my stupid problems? Ha. Assume nothing! I should know that by now.. any who.. if you do care I'll tell you where this is all coming from. A condensed version of course. 

I'm graduating in June. Thank you Lord. 

I have eight tickets. 

I have more than eight people that want to sit in the heat and watch me snatch my diploma away from the principle. 

The biggest problem... my dad wants to bring his girlfriend. 

Doesn't bother me.. she is nice.

Bothers my mother.. she is being a bitch.

My mother came in the door screaming at me about it yesterday.

I left and ran to my dads ( I wanted to go to granny's but she wasn't home.. I just had to get out)

There of course is more to this story but you can fill in the blanks.. Its tiring to relive it all again. But the worst part is yet to come because when I got home last night she didn't say anything to me. Same this morning. Which I know what will probably happen.. but that won't be enough. Not this time.

"It's Friday, Friday"

"I keep on falling in and out of love"
This is not true. But this freaking song.. well song part... has been stuck in my head!
Also still stuck in my head is E.T. The Katy Perry song. Go listen to it and think of me dancing around my room like an idiot to this song.. its a great image I assure you ;)  ( not to mention I was in my underwear while dancing.. well lets just not mention that. )

I had some really great stuff I was going to talk about but then my computer starting acting gay so I gave up and went to my grandmaw's. Who by the way is the best grandmaw in the world. You think your granny rocks? Well sorry. Mine is better! Ka-Hoots to granny Greene! :D

Alas! I do remember one thing.. I had a dream last night about this guy... right now we will not give him a secert name or any name at all because this, like everybody else, may not go anywhere. Any who.. in said dream we were fighting. Like screaming and arguing. ( kinda like my parents relationship) I don't remember what we were going on about but I do remember that I wanted to stop, in the dream I knew it was stupid to fight with him. It was so weird. And I was so wigged out about having this bad dream with him that I woke up with a headache and gave myself anxiety over it. In reality I play fight with him, much like I do with everybody but, I would never really want to fight with this person. I hate fighting esp between a couple. It's so annoying and sad. And quiet frankly makes me want to cry.
If I ever get into a relationship with some sort of seriousness I promise you this dear reader, I will try my hardest to "be the best person I can be" and not cause arguments. OK I don't like where this is going..
On another note...
Umm...
Well...
I have been neglecting my journal... Shame on me. I have been neglecting a lot of stuff. I need to get my priorities straight!
Stop obsessing over boys.. which has become a nasty habit of mine!
Figure out who the hell is coming to graduation! ( which means communicating with my freaking family)
Get things lined up at Sandhills ( yes I'm going to community college. bummer I know.)
Graduate!
Find a Job!
In this order!

Bitch Fit

It has been brought to my attention that I am a bitch.
OK. Let's be honest.. I already knew that but, hearing from other people makes it so much real.
Two weeks ago I invited a friend to youth group.. she agreed to go and I was so happy! Well then I had to go to wal mart with to meet my mom and I also had two other friends in tow ( seems like I have a lot of friends, doesn't it?) Somehow in all the mix of wal mart and all these people I left her out and literally left her at wal mart. (she had her car so she wasn't stranded) I figured she would just meet me at the church.. no. She never came and I just brushed it off. I talked with her today about it and it really hurt her how I treated her.. I seriously didn't mean to do that to her. I know I have issues with balancing my attention esp if  I get around certain groups of people. Hearing this was like a punch in the throat... which I have experienced and it hurts.
I humbled myself and apologized.. somehow that didn't feel like it was enough. The last thing I want is for her to feel like I'm pushing her away, which I know I've done a lot. And even when people call me a bitch for doing that to her she sticks up for me. Which shows you how awesome she is and what an idiot I am for treating her like that.
Which brings the question "Emily, how do you feel about being called a bitch?"
Ha! well.. it really doesn't bother me.. until I treat my friends like shit. but any other time.. nah ;)



I'm stretching my ears :)
size 10 = soreness :(
on another random note I am obsessed with Katy Perry's song E.T!

"So you wanne be a writer, then -" yes i know! Write!

Greetings! greetings? I'm not sure I like the sound of that.. sounds like.. well it sounds to peppy for one thing.
For today Blogger isn't blocked at school. Which is a great thing.
Another great thing.. I found this ad on Craigslist (more on why I was there later!) for wanted bloggers. That's me! The name of the group is called The Reel Scoop. They have a Blog and Facebook. I emailed the guy and told him I was interested and all that jazz. To make a long story short they added me as a contributor! AH! I'm so excited :) No there is no money. But I will gain experience! Which is what I want and need. I just did a little story on Criminal minds and sent it to him.. I got positive feedback so after I'm done here I'll go post it.. and I think there is a way to post links in the side bar.. I will add a link so you can go check it out and follow it if you feel so led.
I feel pretty cool right now :)

I have to pee.
Maybe that's from the water I've been sipping on all morning.
Who's  genius?
I am!
Oh I give myself too much credit.

blogger adultry

i did it. i'm cheating on you, dear blog. i started a tumblr. it offers some features that you don't offer. don't worry though i still plan to devote equal blogging time to you too. my love for you shall never cease!
in fact just today i found some "jobs" for bloggers.. i sent out some emails and hopefully will get some answers back. if i get the chance to to some serious bloggin ( not that you aren't serious) we will really be going places :)
and i didn't leave you out.. there is a link at the top of my other blog ( operation: survive) to direct readers to you and your bloggy goodnes :)
bloggy goodness = epic term!!!


back to you dear reader:
if you have been keeping up with my story.. you can tell i have pretty much stopped the thirty day challenge. fail on me. oh well. challenges were never my thing anyways.
the blog job i found (my sister's dog just peed down her pants!!! hahaha) seems pretty cool. i dont think its a scam.. the link sent me to a blogger profile and it seems pretty cool. which reminds me i want to follow it. it deals with movies and tv. the task basically is watching a movie or tv show and giving commentary. i'm pretty sure i can shell out opinions on entertainment ;) hopefully they still need writers! it would be awesome to have a blog jog and get some good writing experience.

no central theme

i am a terrible person.. today i almost committed blogger adultery. apparently there is another blog world out there that i had no idea about! tumblr. ever heard of it? yea me either, until somebody left the page up on my computer at school. i got on it, checked it out. its pretty cool. has some cool features that this doesn't offer.. but also lacks some. i created an account thinking OK this is cool i can have two blogs.. well i don't really know if i can keep up with that.. lets face it.. you and i both know i can't keep up with that. however, I'm still wrestling with that idea.
always wrestling with something.. you'd think I'd win a battle one day.

why do i feel like if i don't document every moment of my momentarily measly life I'll be letting somebody down? i don't now. just a quirk i suppose. kinda like asking a question and then answering myself. why do i do this? ha! because i only trust myself 100%. you? no i don't trust you.
Trust.
that's a big deal.
Secerts.
i have a lot of secerts i desperately want to pour out to you.. I'm not sure if its because I'm embarrassed my them or because i really get a kick out of the stupid stuff i do.. maybe a little of both. for right now I'll hold on to my secerts because if they fall into the wrong hands I'd be mortified.
i have neglected my blogging duties ( which i bestowed on myself) while i was on spring break and i have good reason. i was having a fabulous time! it was a great week. truly.
but, worry not! I'm back and ready to rumble.. well write at least.